The Completely Expected And Rather Convenient Adventures of Mary Sue
by the BugSlayer
Summary: Don't try to guess what'll happen next. You'll be wrong. (Kili/OC) (Gollumn/OC)
1. Chapter 1: Meet the Protanganist(Me!)

You don't know me. But I know you.

Just kidding, I know nothing about you and I don't want to. You are a reader and that is enough. What I'm about to tell you is the truth. I am ashamed about some of the things I did, but I'm not going to sugar coat it to make me look better. And even if I did, Miley (My Friend) would just correct it anyway. This is the story of my adventure to Middle Earth. The ups, the downs, and the crazies.

But before we get to that, I should probably introduce myself.

Nice to meet you! The name's Mary Sue. To be completely honest, I hate it. I tried going by Mary for a little while, then by Sue. I even tried Suzy but that only lasted about three days. So you can just call me M.

Gilgamesh Feather-destroyer would be fine too, but most people just go with M. And for this story, I am too. M is a lot quicker than Gilgamesh Feather-destroyer anyway. (though Gilgamesh Feather-destroyer _sounds_ cooler)

I don't know _why_ my dad insisted on naming me Mary Sue. I mean it doesn't fit me at _all_.

But, that's my name. And that's why I call myself M.

I could tell you a bit about my personality now. Because I'm sure that would be interesting. But I think you'll figure it out for yourself as you read, so I won't bore you with a random list of adjectives that could describe practically anyone. The fact that I won't accept the name given to me has probably told volumes about me anyway! Though one must agree that it is a really stupid name. I mean, Mary Sue? Really?

I will say one thing though. I'm a tomboy. You can see on the cover. I'm the one on the right. Yeah. I look like a potato, I know.

I'm 21 as of last June and waiting with baited breathe until next June. Taylor Swift anyone? … Guess not.

Anyway, I'm a junior at the University of Scranton, working hard for my master's degree in Psychology. Well, not working too hard, but their still a whole lot of papers that I have to write, and I really don't like papers! Most people don't…

Yep that's pretty much it.

_Aren't you going to say something about your… 'Gift'? It's kind of important, you know. _

Oh! Right! That! That was Miley by the way. She'll be co-writing this with me. Though I'll be doing all the real work.

Anyway! Yeah, so… I'm not exactly normal. Well, apart from the fact that I have a suuuuuper dorky name. I discovered when I was younger, that I could… 'fall into' books. Yeah, it started with Treasure Island when I was about fourteen. Now I know why there were no girls in that book. I mean, seriously, those shipmen were dirty minded! (To say the least) But I survived, and come home, all in one piece.(mostly) Quite convenient timing too, cause school had just let out. Dad was furious with me, but after I told him what had happened, he forgave me and started scheduling my therapist sessions. Those were not convenient.

I avoided books for a while after that, but eventually decided I couldn't give them up forever. Maybe, Hunger Games wasn't the best choice… Anyway, I came out of it all right. When I die in the book, I just pop back to real life again. I didn't last five minutes. (Awesomest five minutes of my life though!)

Needless to say, I got quite used to my 'book hopping' as I like to call it. Enjoying little adventures over the years. Disappearing a lot during the summer. Then I told me friend about it… A rather hasty decision.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of "TCEaRCAoMS"... okay, that is way too long. Anyway, This story is dedicated to FormofJane and Jimxi, who sort of acted as my Beta Readers. This is actually a revision of what I had before.<strong>

**Please review and tell me what you think! I really would love to hear any comments, the good and the bad. I'm here to learn, so any thoughts are helpful. Even if their about how that one part reminded you of your aunt's cat who recently had an accident, and speaking of accidents, did you mention that there was an accident outside your house that caused you to spill the peanut butter, which makes you really sad because you love peanut butter and now you don't have any and will have to go to the store, but you don't like going to the store because the lights are always flickering and...**

**You get the idea. Comments are helpful! They give me inspiration!**

**Next chapter, we will be meeting Miley(the friend). **


	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Sidekick(Not Me!)

_Hello! My name's Miley Comtois. Yes, Miley, as in the singer who's tongue won't stay in her head. And yes, I do constantly get teased about it. _

_I asked my mum why she named me that, but she would always avoid the question. I finally convinced her to tell me on my 22nd birthday (Yes M, I am older than you). Apparently, my mother couldn't think of a name for me, so she used a random name generator from the Internet… _

_I'll never forgive her for it. _

_There's a picture of me on the cover. I'm the one on the left. The one labeled 'Not Mary Sue'. Though I have to say that it's not a very accurate picture of me. _

It looks exactly like you.

_No it doesn't. I mean, of course I have long red hair and I am taller than you. But I do NOT wear clothes like that and make poses!_

She totally does.

_I do not. But that doesn't matter. You're just jealous because I'm taller than you._

_Regardless, I'm M's roommate at the University of Scranton. Though I'm really from England, not America. And you would be able to tell if I was speaking instead of typing because I have a British accent that always makes M burst into hysterics every time I say 'Justin Beiber'. And now I will stop talking out loud as I write, because I was unaware that M was reading over my shoulder (Seriously M, shut up). _

_I'm a senior, getting a Masters degree in Computer Engineering._

She's also a HUGE geek! Like… seriously, huge. So when I told her that I could disappear into books that I read, the first thing that she said was:

"Can you take people with you?" Not 'OMG you freak!' or 'You're pulling my leg right?' like a _normal_ human would ask. And when I told her that I didn't know, she said: "Can we try it out? I'll get The Hobbit, it's under my pillow."

"Why do you keep a book under you're pillow? Oh my god, it looks like someone tried to destroy it with a hammer."

"Stop swearing! Anyway, it doesn't look that bad. Just well used." She sniffed in disdain.

"How many times have you read that?" I asked, staring wide-eyed at the beat up book.

"Oh, just a few… times…" Miley shrugged. I sighed.

"Fine we'll try it." I took the book from her hands. "But keep in mind, we'll reappear in reality a week from now, no matter how long we're in the book, so cancel you're plans before hand."

"I don't have any this week." She nodded quickly. "So how do you do it?"

"Oh… I just start reading…" I thumbed through the first few pages. Of course it was the annotated version, which meant the first 20 pages were just the history of the book. At last I found the beginning.

"Maybe if we both hold the book and read it together?" Miley pondered.

"It's worth a shot." I shrugged. She moved next to me eagerly, taking the other side of the book in her hand. "Ready?"

"Of course." She smiled. I groaned.

"Miley, we went over this! You're supposed to say, 'ready as spaghetti'!"

"That sounds ridiculous though." She frowned.

"Whatever, just read." I sighed in resignation. We both cleared out throats and began.

_"In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. It was not a nasty dirty wet hole, filled with worms and oozy smells. Nor was it a dry, bare, sandy hole, with nothing to sit down on or to eat. It was a hobbit hole. And that meant, comfort…"_

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><p><strong>Well, I hoped you liked it! Next chapter, the action begins!<strong>

**If you could do me one favor, if you could take a few minutes to review, just so I know that there's someone out there reading this, that would be beautiful! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3: Getting the Party Started!

My eyes shot open immediately and were attacked by the bright light of summer. Or at least it seemed like summer. The air was full of the sounds of birds and bugs. '_Oh no_.' I thought. '_This is one of those outdoor books, isn't it?'_ I sat up quickly and looked around, fighting off the headache that usually accompanied my transportation. I was lying on a dirt path, looking over a beautiful array of rolling green hills. Tiny little round doors were built into the hills with little fences and flowerpots all around. Tiny people with big feet and period looking dress milled about gaily. '_My God, they're Munchkins.'_ I looked around for Miley, wondering if the plan had indeed worked. I panicked for a brief moment when I didn't see her, but then her beautiful auburn waves came stumbling up the hill in front of me and she collapsed on the path by my side. She was deathly pale.

"I'm going to be sick." She announced at last.

"Side effect." I told her, remembering my first days in Treasure Island lying about in bed, throwing up, as Jim Hawkins was trying to deal with the pirates at his inn. "You get used to it."

"Quickly I hope." Miley frowned, one hand covering her mouth. "I'd hate to start the book by vomiting all over the front steps of Bag End."

"Where now?" I asked in confusion.

"Bag End. You know, dark green door, top of the Shire, home of Bilbo Baggins?" She looked at me. My blank stare returned to her. "Are you telling me that you have _never_ read the hobbit?" I shrugged.

"If I had, I wouldn't be here, now would I?" I looked up to see stone steps leading up to a small porch in front of a nice round green door. "So… Bag End is it?" I nodded. "Interesting." I stood up and brushed myself off. My jeans and large hoodie laughed at me as my efforts to clean them just pushed the grayish brown dirt further into the fibers. I breathed out a long sigh. "So, where do we start?" I looked down at Miley, who was still trying not to puke. "Come ON!" I sighed. "Just go in the flower bed already! No one will notice." She hesitated for a moment before rushing over to the bed of Daisies and emptying the contents of her stomach formerly known as lunch into the flowers. After a few minutes of gross sounds and slightly unpleasant smells if the wind was blowing the wrong way, she stood. Miley was super shaky and pale still. Like a very delicate china doll. It annoyed me to no end, how she could feel sick to her stomach and still look like a Disney princess or something. My first time, I just lied around a lot groaning and looking like a dead toad.

"Well," she said wearily, trying to get her wits about her. "There's no mark on the door, which means we've gotten here before the book actually starts. My guess, it's still the long introduction about hobbits and Bag End." I nodded.

"So, what happens first?" I asked, unsure of what to do. In the past, the book had just dropped me right in the middle of a huge mess that I had to sort out for myself, but this time… well. Everything was just so… peaceful. Then the door to Bag End opened and a small little man with curly hair and big hairy feet walked out. He looked at us in surprise.

"Hello, can I help you?" He asked. Miley looked like she was going to faint again.

"Mr. Baggins… Mister Bilbo Baggins." She breathed in awe.

"Yes… do I know you?" this 'Baggins' character replied. The man took a step toward us and I quickly dragged Miley behind me. Not that it did much good. She was a good foot taller than me. Another thing I hated her for. Though, to be fair, I was rather short myself. "Is she alright?" Baggins asked looking at Miley's practically white face. He took a few more steps toward us, but I backed up.

"Stay _right_ where you are mister." I hissed at him threateningly. He stopped abruptly and looked at me, clearly puzzled. "Keep your distance or I swear I will hurt you."

"I'm… sorry?" Baggins looked around in confusion.

"M, what are you doing?" Miley asked in shock.

"Taking precautions!" I hissed back. "He's an unknown man. You can never be too careful!"

"M, this is _Bilbo Baggins_ you're talking about!" the other girl sighed.

"In the story, is he ever alone with another female who's in the prime of her youth?" I asked quickly. Baggins gave me an offended look.

"Well no…" Miley admitted. "But still-"

"Take no chances!" I shouted. "Unless there's pizza involved. Do anything for pizza!" Miley groaned. Baggins opened his mouth to comment, then thought better of it and shut his mouth again.

"M, you're being ridiculous…" but her voice trailed off as she collapsed to the ground. I looked down at her and sighed.

"Pansy." I muttered under my breath. I looked up to see Baggins still standing there seemingly at a loss for words. He looked like Martin Freeman. It's happened before. Since, on some level, everything in the book was sort of, kinda, maybe generated by my subconscious, sometimes a few celebrities would sneak in. I'm telling you, I wouldn't have picked Jennifer Lawrence to play Katniss, but man… it was hilarious.

"Okay Baggins guy." I snapped at the person. "Looks like I need your help."

"_My_ help?" he chuckled. "Weren't you the one who just said-"

"I _know_ what I said!" I cut him off quickly. "And believe me, I don't trust you half as far as I can throw you! But we've got no where to go and then she just goes and faints on me like that!" I motioned angrily to the unconscious woman at my feet. "So I need your help, because you're the only one around here she seems to know. Keep in mind!" I raised my voice and looked at him sternly. "No _funny_ business or I'll sock ya in the eye! Got it?" Baggins paled slightly and nodded.

"Of course." He said, turning back to the green door and opening it. "Here, you can bring her in and lay her down on the couch." Huffing, I picked Miley up in a fireman's carry and followed Baggins into the house.

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><p><strong>REVIEW if you have anything to say! It gives me strength and inspiration! It's like my writing food and if there are no reviews my creativity starves to death! (yes, I am being needlessly melodramatic) Hope you liked it!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Home of a Hobbit

I'm not sure what I was expecting exactly inside the little hill, but it was surprisingly homey. '_It was a hobbit hole. And that meant, comfort.'_ The words drifted back into my head. Right. Well, it was the epitome of comfort. Sturdy, comfortable furniture filled the warm simple rooms. The smell of food drifted through the circular halls. I had to admit, the Baggins guy had class.

"Set her down there is fine." He pointed to a sofa by the currently cold fireplace. I dropped Miley unceremoniously into the seat and exhaled.

"I think she should be up in a few hours." I said to myself unhappily. Baggins coughed slightly from behind me.

"You, um, you seem to know my name, but I don't believe we've met." He said at last.

"Oh… right." I licked my lips slightly. I had a feeling M wasn't going to cut it. "I'm…" my mind went blank. "Gilgamesh… but you can call me Gil." He nodded.

"Bilbo Baggins, as you know." He held out his hand to shake mine, but I backed up immediately.

"Whoa! Whoa… no touching. No." I wagged my finger at him. He took a few steps back in confusion.

"Look," he started. "I know you don't trust me, but I would never…" his voice trailed off as I grabbed a poker from the fire and pointed it at him.

"Okay, you must be at least _this far_ from us at _all times_." I told him.

"You can't be serious." He looked at me. I nudged the poker a little closer to him. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "All right. All right!" he repeated a bit louder as I poked him again. He took a few steps back. "If it makes you comfortable." He sighed again. "Well, a least let me get a pillow for your… sister?"

"Friend." I corrected. "Do we look anything alike?" he shook his head slightly.

"You two just seemed close, so I thought you might be related." He muttered to himself as he walked over to another chair and grabbed a small cushion. Baggins started towards Miley with it, but I sprang in front of him, poker at arms length. He froze, then sighed, and handed the cushion to me. Or tried to anyway. But with a fire poker of distance between us, we couldn't reach.

"This is ridiculous." He said at last, arm falling to his side.

"But necessary." I scolded. "Here, just set it down where you are." He did so. I walked towards it, the poker ushering him backwards at the distance. I reached the pillow at last, bent down, picked it up, and walked backwards. Keeping an eye on Baggins the entire time. "You're not going to jump me as soon as I turn around, right?" I asked testily. He sighed loudly.

"Look, I was going to go smoke my pipe outside for a bit before you lot showed up, so how about I go and do that, and you can see to your friend without having to be paranoid the entire time." The hobbit suggested. I nodded slowly. He grabbed his pipe from the table and walked past me, giving me a wide birth as my poker followed hi movements. At last, he was out the door and shut it behind him. I sighed in relief and dropped the poker back in its stand.

"Hopefully, this won't be one of those books that's all men." I mumbled to myself tiredly. Turning my attentions now to Miley, I put the cushion beneath her head and found a blanket to spread over her. She looked much more comfortable, though still pale. I knew there was nothing to be done but wait for her to get over it, so I wandered about the room curiously. Besides the fireplace and sofa, there were a few more chairs. On the far side of the room, however, was a large desk covered in old papers and books. No wonder Miley wanted to come here. I made my way over to it and scanned over the large map on the center. The words 'Middle Earth' were in the bottom corner in fancy script. Detailed rivers and mountain ranges and forests dotted the map. The left side was ocean, but the other three sides lead to more land. My eyes read through a couple of the names on the parchment: Mordor, Bree, Gondor, Esgorath, Gap of Rohan, Aunduin River, Hobbiton. Hobbiton was probably where we were… I mean, it was a _hobbit_ hole after all. I guess Baggins was hobbit then. My fingers picked up an old dust tome. I turned to the first page and began reading. The book itself was boring, but it was so nice to be able to _read_ for once without getting sucked into some strange world.

The front door opened suddenly and Baggins came rushing back in, looking quite alarmed. He slammed the front door, panting, then after a second thought, locked it as well. I shut the book and hurried over to retrieve the poker again. I walked over cautiously as the hobbit put his ear to the door. I faint scratching sound reached my ears. Baggins sprung up and hurried to the window trying to see the outside of the door. I yelped involuntarily as a huge eye appeared on the other side, magnified by the shape of the glass. Bilbo too jumped in surprise and rushed away from the window to hide behind the corner. The large blue eye twitched slightly, fixed itself on me briefly and disappeared. Bilbo quietly snuck over to the next window and looked out of it. I moved behind him and we watched as a tall gray robed man walked down the path away from the house, humming contentedly to himself. Bilbo sighed in relief, but jumped in surprise as he turned around to see me right by his shoulder. I jumped too and immediately raised the poker in between us.

"Who was that?" I asked, still watching the tall man disappear behind a hill.

"I don't know." Bilbo admitted. "Called himself Gandalf. A wizard that used to come around these parts."

"A wizard?" I scoffed. "Just what exactly are you smoking in that pipe?" He glared at me slightly, but immediately dropped the glare and smiled.

"Yes a wizard." He said, walking into the kitchen. I let the poker hang down.

"What did he want?" I called into the kitchen where the hobbit was busily moving around.

"He offered to let me go on an _adventure_ with him." He chuckled slightly. "Can you believe it? An adventure!"

"Did you agree to go?" I asked, getting the feeling that this 'adventure' would turn out to be the rest of the book.

"Of course I didn't!" Bilbo snickered. "No respectable hobbit would even _dream_ of going on an adventure! Nasty, disturbing, wet things. Make you late for dinner!" this dude had his priorities straight. "And that's exactly what I told him!" Bilbo finished, somewhat proudly. "Tea?"

"Oh, no thanks." I nodded my head. "I really hate the stuff. But maybe a cup for my friend here, she practically breathes it." He hummed slightly in response and got out another teacup and saucer.

"One lump or two?" he called.

"Of what?" I replied in confusion.

"Sugar. Does she like one lump or two?" Bilbo's head poked back into the room.

"Oh… um, two I guess?" I had no idea. He nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen. I looked around lamely and sat down in an empty chair. Man was it comfy. Bilbo came in a few seconds later, balancing a cup of tea deftly in each hand. He sat down one on the little table next to Miley and sat down with the other cup in the chair opposite us. He sipped quietly for a moment.

"You sure I can't get you anything?" he asked at last.

"And give you a chance to drug me? No way!" I snorted. He just shrugged and continued sipping.

"So, where are you two headed?" Bilbo said, again trying to start conversation. I just shrugged. "That far?" I snickered at the sarcasm in his tone. He _could_ be funny!

"We're just kind of wandering from no where." I explained quickly. Bilbo nodded, excepting the vague explanation. I was thankful. The same thing hadn't worked so well for me in the past. Ender's Game. Those people were a stickler for details!

"Well," Bilbo said. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like! Hobbits always enjoy company." He glanced at me before adding. "And I'm sure you could find other hobbit willing to take you in that you'd feel safer with." He eyed the poker still in my hands.

"You don't seem to bad." I shrugged. He thanked me and finished his tea. Miley's proceeded to get cold.

"Are you sure she's alright?" Bilbo asked me, as he got up to take the now empty teacup to the sink.

"Yeah, she'll be fine by tonight."_ I hope._ To be honest, I was a little worried about how long Miley had been out of it. But I guess she was older than when I first hopped, so the shock hit her worse. I had gotten used to it by now.

"Well, I was meaning to go shopping later today." Bilbo said, coming back into the room. "And no time like the present! You're welcome to join me if you'd like. But I get the feeling you'd rather keep an eye on her."

"Yeah, she'd never forgive me if she woke up and I was gone." He nodded in understanding. "But thanks for the offer."

"While I'm there, would you like me to fetch some clothes for the two of you?" he suggested. "You might draw unwanted attention in such… outlandish garb."

I laughed. "Buddy, you have no idea."

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><p><strong>:( not much happened in this chapter. But don't worry! Dwarves are coming soon!<strong>

**Reviews are always super appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5: Are there ANY women?

I dropped Miley roughly onto the guest bed and set the folded clothes on her stomach. She could change once she got up that lazy-bones. Though it was hard to stay mad at her when her skin looked so clammy and pale.

"Hurry up you moron." I whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do here!" She didn't stir. I sighed, tucking my own pair of clothes under one arm and heading into the guest bathroom to change. I ended up in some sort of dark green dress/jumper thingamabob. This fit over an off-white shirt with baggy sleeves and a pair of bloomers. Even though I wasn't thrilled about being stuffed in a dress, the good thing is that it seemed to be very moveable. I didn't know what kind of book this was going to be, but I had to be prepared. Always be prepared.

I checked on Miley one more time, and headed back out to sit in front of the now lit fire. Bilbo was in the kitchen cooking from the sounds of it. I sat on one of the large comfortable chairs, toes wriggling. They didn't have any shoes in Hobbiton, and my sneakers didn't really help me to blend in very well. So, in the house at least, I decided to remain barefoot.

"Dinner if you want it." Bilbo called from the kitchen. I looked up with interest.

"Did you poison or drug it?" I asked warily.

"No, I didn't." He replied easily. I considered this for a moment, then my stomach grumbled and I gave in, coming into the kitchen where a delicious looking fish sat on a plate in front of an empty seat. Bilbo sat opposite with the same meal. "You eat fish, right?" he asked.

"Hey, food's food." I shrugged. Bilbo nodded approvingly as I sat down and dug in. Or I would have, if the doorbell hadn't rung. I looked up at Bilbo, who looked up from putting on spices, a mix of worry and confusion on his face. I put my fork back down.

"Who on earth could be out at _this_ hour?" I heard the hobbit mutter to himself as he got up from his seat and walked stiffly over to the door. Cautiously, I got up from my own seat and followed at a distance. I froze as the door opened on a large muscle bound freak covered in tattoos and furs and armed to the teeth with axes and hammers and knuckle-dusters. He glared down at Bilbo critically for a second before speaking at last. Though his voice was more like a growl.

"Dwalin." He bowed ever so slightly, still glaring at the hobbit. "At your service." Bilbo stared at him for a moment before remembering his manners.

"Bilbo Baggins, at…" He tied the sash around his robe. "…Yours." Dwalin brushed past him into the house. The huge man spared me only a second glance before turning back to Bilbo who had started talking again. "Do we… know each other?" the hobbit asked.

"No." Dwalin scoffed before stalking down the hall. "Which way lad? Is it down here?"

"Is what down where?" Bilbo asked sharing a confused glance with myself.

"Dinner." The man's voice came echoing back to us. "He said there'd be food. And lots of it!"

"H-he said? ...Who said?" In the meantime, Dwalin had found the fish. Bilbo sat timidly on a stool in the corner, watching the stranger devour his supper messily. After he bit the head off, I couldn't stand it anymore. I left quickly to go check on Miley. She was stirring ever so slightly, but still unconscious. I sighed. She wanted to be here so much and she was spending it all asleep. Sighing again, I headed back out to see if the stranger had left yet. A loud crack sounded through the halls. I rushed into the room to see…

"There's another one." I said, my mouth feeling dry. Now there was also a shorter man with pure white hair and a red coat. He was in some type of arm lock with the other and both were laughing.

"Yes, I'm aware." Bilbo frowned. He mustered some courage and walked over to them. "Excuse me." They kept on laughing. "But I'm not entirely sure you're in the right… house." The newest stranger turned around the reply, but instead saw me standing timidly back a bit. He smiled broadly.

"And who might this be?" the old man asked, walking towards me a bit. I stepped back immediately. Bilbo sensed my distress and stepped in between the man and me.

"This is Gil." Bilbo said politely. "She's-"

"His wife!" I spoke up quickly, smiling innocently. The man raised an eyebrow as Bilbo turned to me, confusion scrawled all over his face. I gave him a pointed look.

"Well, It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Baggins." The man smiled and bowed. "Balin, at your service." I smiled back as the two strangers walked away.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked as soon as they were out of sight.

"Self preservation!" I told him. "I don't know this people, and right now I trust you a lot more than them. Have you seen them? They have _weapons_. If I pretend to be your wife, then hopefully they won't get any funny ideas!"

"Why do you think they even would?" Bilbo frowned.

"Just speaking from experience." I hissed defensively. "Now hurry up, I think they found your food closet."

"It's a Pantry!" Bilbo called over his should as he stomped off to go saved his food. I watched from the hall, trying to listen in. All I could make out was something about mold and a piece of blue cheese come rolling down the hall to land at my feet. I picked it up, inspected it, found it free of mold, and bit into it. It wasn't much, but since my dinner had been so rudely eaten, I needed something. The doorbell rang again. Bilbo stomped past me and yanked open the door.

I felt like the bottom of my stomach dropped away. Standing in the door were two young men. One a brunette, the other a blonde. They were hot. But this was different. I couldn't stop staring at the taller one. As soon as they started speaking, however, I managed to snap myself out of it and turn away, feeling a blush creep up my neck.

"Fili." I heard one say from the door.

"And Kili." The other said.

"At your service." They bowed together, coming up smiling.

"M, what's going on?" a weak voice sounded from next to me. I turned quickly to see Miley standing next to me shakily in the light blue dress I had left for her. She was still deathly pale, and trembling slightly, but at least she was awake. And if she was awake, I could finally talk to someone normally.

"What on earth were you thinking?" I hissed at her. "Is there a single woman in this entire book?" Miley frowned at me before thinking for a second.

"I think they mention one, but she isn't actually seen." She replied in a still weak British accent. My eyes widened.

"What?" I tilted my head to one side.

"It shouldn't be a problem though." Miley told me. I couldn't believe this.

"How do you know?" I pressed. "How _can_ you know? This is way too dangerous! We better get out of here fast. I'll go find a knife or something."

"No!" Miley protested stopping me. "Come on, it'll be fine, I promise." I stared into her pleading eyes for a moment.

"Fine." I huffed at last. "But if things start getting out of hand, I'm killing us immediately."

"Fine…" Miley frowned. "Anyway, what's happened so far?"

"Well… Some wizard guy stopped by and left. And then these two weird guys came by. Balin and Dwalin."

"They're dwarves." Miley told me quickly, looking around for them anxiously. "There'll be eleven more on the way."

"Well two more are here already." I jerked my thumb towards the door where Kili and Fili were walking in. I was about to turn away again, when the dark haired dwarf stopped in his tracks. He froze, staring at Miley and I with a wide-eyed expression. My warning bells went off immediately, but something in my chest thumped painfully. The dark haired dwarf grabbed his brother's arm, still transfixed with us.

"Fili." He murmured. The blonde looked at his brother in confusion, then followed the other's gaze to us. A huge grin spread over his face. The blonde put one arm over the other's shoulder and led him over to us. As they approached, however, I noticed they were both looking at Miley, who was looking around in confusion. Uh oh.

"Kili." The dark haired dwarf said gently, eyes transfixed on Miley. "At your service." He bowed slightly, taking Miley's hand and bringing it up to his lips. He lingered there for a moment, staring into her dark green eyes. It seemed as though nothing could pull him away. Well, nothing except having a fire poker almost take out his eye. Kili stepped back in surprise, immediately releasing Miley's hand. I moved myself into the space in between them, holding the poker out in front of me.

Fili and Kili both seemed affronted by this seemingly hostile behavior, and I could feel Miley glaring down at my back.

"Listen up." I growled at the two dwarves. "You are not to come any closer than this to either of us. Understood? If you do, I have a justifiable reason to defend myself." Fili looked at me like I was crazy. Kili just looked hurt, staring up at Miley (who was a good foot taller than him) with a look of a star-crossed lover.

"Why?" Fili asked in confusion.

"None of your business!" I snapped at him. He smirked at me.

"Could it be you feel," he took a step closer. "Threatened?" I gritted my teeth together and jabbed the poker towards him threateningly. He didn't flinch.

"I need to sit down." Miley groaned, walking away, one hand massaging her temple stressfully. Kili watched her leave until Dwalin came up behind him.

"Come help us with this lads." He grinned down at them. Kili looked up in awe.

"Mr. Dwalin." And they disappeared into the dining room. Fili gave me another warning glance before turning and following.

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><p><strong>Well, that's the dwarves!<strong>

**Review if you think this chapter was worth it.**


	6. Chapter 6: Conquest to Free the Pantry

"Let's shove this in the hall, otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Balin's voice sounded from farther away. Bilbo brushed past me, covered in weapons that had been dropped on him. He reminded me of a metal porcupine or something.

"E-everyone?" the hobbit squeaked. "How many more are there?" As if on cue, the doorbell rang again, longer than before. I turned almost as pale as Miley was. Bilbo stomped to the door ranting and dropping the weapons all over the place. He yanked open the door and eight more dwarves came spilling through. I stared agape at the writhing mass of bodies on the floor. A huge gray man bent down and looked through the door. "Gandalf." Bilbo sighed irritably. The wizard merely smiled.

"Gandalf's here?" Miley's voice spoke up. I turned in alarm to see her practically run to the door as Gandalf stepped over the pile of dwarves who were slowly untangling themselves. Miley looked up ever so slightly at the towering wizard, seeing as she was the closest here to his height.

"Hello my dear." The wizard smiled, pleasantly confused. "I do not believe we have met."

"Oh, Miley Comtois." The red haired girl smiled. "At your service." She bowed.

"Gandalf the Grey." The old man nodded back. "You seem familiar with dwarvish customs, but you don't seem to be a dwarf." He observed.

"Right…" Miley said quietly, probably making a mental note of it. "I saw some of the other guests doing it. It seemed polite." She explained quickly.

"And are you too a guest of Mr. Baggins?" Gandalf asked, walking with her over to the fire.

"Yes." Miley nodded.

"She's an old friend of mine." I spoke up, realizing my cover would soon be blown. I hurried over and smiled. "Mrs. Baggins, nice to meet you." Gandalf raised an eyebrow. As did Miley.

"Indeed?" The wizard gave me a knowing look. I swallowed nervously.

"Yes. Miley is a dear childhood friend of mine. She was stopping by for a visit when all of these… _dwarves_ showed up." I frowned, looking over at Bilbo who was desperately trying to stop a dozen dwarves from destroying his pantry. He was failing. The poor bloke.

"Can we go with you?" Miley asked excitedly. Gandalf turned to her in surprise.

"Go with me where?" the wizard inquired. I groaned. Miley was so going to blow our cover.

"To Erebor!" The girl pressed, enthusiasm spilling off of her.

"How do you know about that?" Gandalf gave her a queer look.

"Shut up now." I whispered quietly to Miley. She just smirked.

"I know many things Mithrandir." The wizard looked slightly impressed.

"You seem to know elf customs as well, to some extent. Though you are here in Hobbiton." Gandalf said, as if trying to figure her out.

"You are a Maiar." Miley replied. "Yet here you are. In Hobbiton." Now Gandalf was _really_ impressed. He regarded her for a moment.

"I can certainly put in a word for you with the leader of our company, though the decision is up to him." The wizard said at last.

"That is all I ask." Miley smiled, putting on an air of wise maturity. I rolled my eyes.

"And does your friend now many things as well?" he turned to me.

"W-what?" I stammered. "Well, yeah, but not anything useful." The wizard chuckled at my brashness.

"She is a skilled fighter." Miley said quickly.

"What? No I'm not!" I hissed at her. She gave me a pointed look. I coughed. "I mean… I have… some skill with a bow." Thank you Katniss. "But nothing extraordinary."

"Well, I'll put in a word for you as well." Gandalf nodded, before getting up to go take a head count of the dwarves. As soon as he was out of the room, Miley let out a super excited squeal. Her face was it's normal color again as she grabbed my hands and danced in a circle. I had _never_ seen her so excited. _Ever._

"We're in The Hobbit!" She grinned at me, her face ecstatic. "Can you believe it M?"

"Chill out! Will you?" I pleaded nervously. "We can't let our guard down."

"Oh come off it already." Miley rolled her eyes. "We'll be fine. This is Bag End for goodness sake!" I just glared at her. She sighed and pried the poker from my fingers, shoving it back in the stand. "Now, _Mrs. Baggins_, why don't you go help your hubby save the food." I growled at her slightly, but stomped away nonetheless.

The situation at the pantry was horrendous. The dwarves were grabbing anything they could get their hands on. Bread, Meat, cranberry sauce, Entire cheese wheels, anything they could get their hands on was moved to the dining room. Several chairs as well, though I was pretty sure at least some of them were antiques.

At first I tried to help Bilbo stop them. But this proved hard to do while keeping my distance, so I just glared at every dwarf passing by. The youngest looking got so scared of me that he dropped a basket of apples that he was carrying. Fili and Kili noticed it, picked up the apples and put them in the basket. Except for two which they bit into messily right in front of my face and chewed noisily. I was going to kill them. I really was. Even more so when I noticed that Kili was in fact an inch taller than me. Even though he was a dwarf. Unfair. The two apple-eating dwarfs strode off smugly as I pictured what I would do for revenge. The jerks.

Then the dwarves sat down and started eating. Gandalf and Miley joined them. I did not. Neither did Bilbo. I was starving though. I didn't do too well without food. The dwarves carried on loudly, throwing food to one another and walking on the table. And the belching. It was enough to make me sick to my stomach. My appetite suddenly disappeared.

Once their supper was over, they dispersed again and Bilbo was back on patrol, saving dishes and doilies from the dwarven clutches. I searched out Miley to find her sitting with Fili and Kili. All three were laughing merrily. She caught my eyes and stopped laughing. She excused herself from the two brothers and walked with me into the hall. I saw Kili's eyes following her out sadly. It annoyed me to no end and I had no idea why.

"What?" Miley asked angrily once we had stopped in the empty hall.

"You can't honestly be encouraging this?" I glared at her.

"M, you _need_ to lighten up!" the taller girl sighed. It felt really weird to hear her say that, cause usually _I_ was the one saying that to _her_. "We're going to be stuck with these dwarves for the entire story, so you might as well learn to get along with them."

"I don't _want_ to get along with them. I want to go _home_." I stressed pinching the bridge of my nose. "There are a bunch of unknown and unsupervised men in this house with us! We can't afford to be so careless!" Miley frowned.

"M… You've had trouble in books before, haven't you?" She asked. I swallowed and looked away.

"Yeah… just a bit." I snapped sarcastically. I could feel eyes of pity on me. I hated it. "Don't look at me like that!" I huffed at her. "It was forever ago. I just don't want the same thing to happen to you."

"I can take care of myself M." Miley smiled sadly. "And I'll look out for you too. I promise. So just try to have some fun okay? It really is a great book." I sighed.

"Fine…" I conceded. We both looked up in surprise then as a certain hobbit's voice rose.

"I don't understand what these dwarves are doing in my house!" Bilbo complained to Gandalf a little further down the hall.

"Excuse me." The younger dwarf I scared before said, walking up to Bilbo. "But what should I do with my plate?" Both hobbit and dwarf looked down at the plate, then up at the other.

"Here Ori," Fili said, walking over. "Give it here." I frowned. Where was the other one? But before I could speculate on the question, a plate was hurled straight at my head. I ducked quickly as the plate went flying over me to be caught deftly by Kili. Oh, that was the last straw. I stood and turned to the dark dwarf, fuming. But before I could say anything, Kili pushed me to the side before catching Fili's plate, which would have hit my head if I had not been moved.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I hollered at Fili who smirked at me before dashing off to find more plates.

"Oh! Did you hear that lads?" one of the dwarves said from the dining room. "He says we'll blunt the knives!" My mouth dropped open at what happened next. The dark haired dwarf began singing in a deep, rich voice, throwing his own plate into the next room, his other arm guiding Miley out of the way smoothly.

_'Blunt the knives, bend the forks.'_

Fili came back with more plates, taking up the song.

_'Smash the bottles and burn the corks,'_

The rest of the dwarves began joining in.

_'Chip the glasses and crack the plates!_

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!'_

The tiny hobbit hole turned into one of the craziest assembly lines ever. Dwarves tossing dishes and silverware to one another. Fili continued to hurl things at Kili, who caught them easily and passed them on, all the while spinning and moving Miley out of the way. She was laughing merrily, having the time of her life. I tried not to sulk. They looked so graceful and natural together. Like they were dancing. I had just been shoved out of the way like a sack of potatoes.

The song echoed behind me as I stomped out of the house, letting the door swing closed behind me.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter wasn't very funny. My apologies. But stuff needed to happen.<strong>

**Review if you think it was worth it!**

**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I had an Idea for another story recently. **

**Unfortunately, it requires over 20 different dwarrowdams. Even more unfortunately, I cannot come up with that many different dwarrowdams. **  
><strong>That's where you come in. <strong>  
><strong>If you would like to PM me or review with a dwarrowdam of your own creation, that would be AMAZING!<strong>  
><strong>I need dwarrowdams of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and ages. Also, there is a possibility that not all will be used! But please, the more options the better! Be as detailed as you want!<strong>  
><strong>And thank you for your time!<strong>

**- the BugSlayer**


	7. Chapter 7: King under the mountain? ick

I plopped down on the top step of the front porch and sighed. Stupid dwarves and their stupid lack of manners. _I should just kill myself and be done with it._ I thought, ignoring how suicidal that sounded. A short, cloaked figure stopped in front of the gate, looking up at the hobbit hole. The person had huge thick boots and at least one weapon poking out from the bottom of the cloak. I ignored him until a deep baritone voice spoke.

"Is this Bag End?" the stranger asked.

"I guess so." I replied tiredly. He nodded but said nothing else. I guessed him to be another dwarf. He opened the gate and walked past me without so much as a second glance. He knocked on the door loudly and took a step back. The noise in the house suddenly fell silent. I couldn't help but look back at the newest arrival. To have such command over the inhabitants without even being there. It was quite the feat.

I watched over my shoulder as Gandalf opened the door. The dwarf lowered his hood and looked up at the wizard.

"Gandalf." The dwarf smiled slightly. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice." He stepped into the house. "I would not have found it at all had it not been for the mark on the door."

"Excuse me?" I asked, standing up indignantly. "You didn't find it cause of some mark, you asked_ me_ if it was Bag End." I strode over to stand in front of him, hands on my hips. We were almost eye-to-eye. He raised an eyebrow and turned away. I had just been snubbed. Not surprising, I guess.

"Furthermore," Bilbo spoke up, coming to my rescue. "There is no mark on that door." He pointed, chuckling slightly. "It was painted a week ago!"

"There is a mark." Gandalf interjected, closing the door quickly. "I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce to you the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." Said dwarf turned to Bilbo, handing his cloak to Kili like a lap dog.

"So, this is the hobbit." Thorin said, looking Bilbo up and down. "Tell me Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?" He started circling the hobbit.

"Pardon me?" Bilbo squeaked.

"Axe or sword, what's your weapon of choice?" Thorin said, coming to stand in front again.

"Well, I do have some skill in conkers if you must no." Bilbo bragged, puffing up his chest. He took a look at the serious faces and deflated again. "But I fail to see, why, that's… relevant."

"I thought as much." Thorin shook his head slightly. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." The other dwarves chuckled as Bilbo flushed angrily. I wanted to sock that dwarf right in the gut. He was just as rude as all the others. However, I managed to contain my violent tendencies and instead strode in front of him again.

"You're one to talk." I scoffed, causing the whole room to fall silent again. "Pretty quick to judge for an old man. I doubt you can even lift that axe." I nodded to the Weapon by his side. The room grew oppressively silent. I glared unwaveringly into the dwarf's furious eyes.

"Hold your tongue girl!" Dwalin barked at me, stepping forward. But Thorin put up a hand to stop him.

"I can assure you." The black haired dwarf growled. "I am more than able to lift my weapon. But I have better things to do with my time than to teach a lesson to a girl who doesn't know her place." I opened my mouth to reply, but Miley quickly rushed over and pulled me back a few steps. Thorin looked over at Gandalf.

"Who are these people Gandalf? You made no mention that there would be anyone besides the hobbit here."

"Yes, it was a bit of a surprise, I'll admit." The wizard nodded. "Allow me to introduce, Miley Comtois and Mrs. Baggins." He said. The dwarf turned to us.

"You are not a hobbit." He said to Miley.

"No my lord." Miley replied, nodding her head. "I am from the race of men. A traveler, coming to visit with an old friend." She nodded at me, who was still glaring at everyone and everything I could.

"And you." Thorin looked at me. "You are the hobbit's wife?"

"Got a problem with that?" I snapped.

"No, actually, that's not true." Bilbo spoke up. I was going to kill someone. "They arrived on my doorstep this morning and needed help." Thorin nodded and turned back to me. I swallowed.

"And why are you here?" he asked, staring straight at me. But it was Miley who answered.

"We are here to join your company." She smiled. Thorin's face became deadly serious as he looked between Gandalf and Miley.

"What did you tell them?" He barked at the wizard.

"I told them nothing." Gandalf replied defensively.

"Fear not, Thorin." Miley said calmly. "The integrity of your quest has not been compromised."

"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo spoke up nervously. Thorin sighed angrily.

"Why not tell the whole of middle earth?" he asked sarcastically.

"Thorin, Lady Miley has a gift, as I have come to believe. She could be very helpful to our cause." Thorin considered this for a moment before looking back at me.

"And what can _she_ do?" The distaste in his voice was evident.

"Nothing that you care about." I snapped back, turning to Miley. "I've had enough of this." I hissed to her. "You're on your own. I'm out of here."

"What?" Miley's eyes widened. "No, M, you can't!"

"I can and I will!" I snapped back, realizing all eyes were on me. "I've got better things to do than be mistreated by a bunch of dwarves!"

"M!" Miley hissed as I marched over to Bilbo.

"Do you have a sharp knife by any chance?" I asked the bewildered creature.

"A what?" Bilbo asked in alarm.

"A knife." I repeated impatiently. "_I_ want to go home."

"That isn't an option." Thorin's voice sounded from behind me. I whirled around to glare at him.

"What?" I asked, malice dripping over the word.

"You know about the quest." He said. "Who knows who you'll tell once we part paths."

"God! You people! Just let me kill myself already!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. A ripple of murmurs sounded from the dwarves. Yeah... that sounded really suicidal.

"M, get a _grip_." Miley hissed, grabbing my arm. She turned back to look at Thorin. "I apologize for my friend. She doesn't do very well if she's kept indoors for too long. But I assure you, she is a skilled warrior with a bow and will be a valuable asset." Thorin glared at me.

"I have no place for insanity in my company." He growled turning away. The rest of the dwarves followed as I yanked my arm from Miley's grasp. I turned on my heel and stopped out the door again.

"Where are you going?" Miley hissed.

"To get so fresh air, my lady." I snapped back before slamming the door. I disappeared into the night.

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><p><strong>I apologize for M's nastiness in this chapter. But it's kind of realistic. I regret nothing.<strong>

**Review if you feel like it! :D**


	8. Chapter 8: You're a what?

I walked for a reaaaaalllly long time. The night air was not unpleasantly cool, but the wet grass nearly froze my feet off as a plodded aimlessly along. I was beyond furious. I had all but ran until I could barely see Bag End anymore. It had felt good to run again. I used to do track, but I quit a couple years back in high school because the coach was idiot. But bounding over grass covered hills and tiny rivers made everything seem insignificant. At least, for a little while. Then I slowed down and the reality came crashing back.

The most obvious solution would be to just kill myself and reappear back in my own world a week from where I had left. It's not like I hadn't done that sort of thing before. But it left a bad taste in my mouth. Like I was giving up. As if the book had defeated me somehow. And there was also the possibility that if I died, Miley would be brought out of the book too. It was my power after all. And she really seemed to love this book.

But all those dwarves… It was just asking for trouble.

That was when my stroke of genius hit me. Just because there were no women characters in this book, didn't mean they didn't exist. I would just have to go find some. Safety in numbers, as I old economics teacher like to say. Well, she probably meant something completely different, but who cares.

And then it all happened with such uncanny timing.

First I tripped and fell down a small cliff. The result of not looking where you're walking. Then I untangled myself from the brush and realized that I was in the edge of a forest. The old forest, as I later learned. And I had landed in a small clearing dipped down so that the trees and rocks formed a tiny wall around the grassy clearing. A small, sparkling brook ran through the middle.

And then I saw her.

I hope I don't sound like a lesbian right now, cause I'm not. But she was amazingly gorgeous.

Not because of her perfectly shaped features, or her long golden curls that were so long they reminded me of Rapunzel, or even the long off-white dress that flowed so beautifully around her. It was just _her_. I first, I had mistaken her for the scenery. She seemed to meld with the roots and rocks and moss in which she was nestled into so comfortably. She just seemed to _belong_. So naturally, as she lay, totally relaxed in her surroundings in what seemed to be a deep slumber.

I stood slowly, unable to take my eyes off her, and for a moment, I thought she might be dead. But at my movement, her eyes shot open suddenly and she disappeared. I stared at the place where she had been just moments before. Was I hallucinating?

"Oooooh! Aren't you a plain one?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as a cheery, musical voice sounded from behind me. I whirled around to see blonde haired young woman perched on a tree branch above me, looking down. I glanced quickly from where she had been, to where she now was. My mouth bobbed like a fish for a moment as her beautiful blue eyes blinked down at me. "Oh! You can see me?" her face lit in honest surprise.

"You teleported." I pointed out, unsure what else to say. Her laugh was like a tinkle of tiny bells. It was beautiful.

"No silly! I just wanted to be over here instead." She slid off the branch and floated down, stopping in front of me; her feet still a few inches above the ground. I noticed this immediately and slowly looked up at her in a mix of horror and fascination.

"You're... a ghost, aren't you?" I stated. She laughed again. Though it sounded pretty, it was starting to get on my nerves.

"Something like that. Though I must admit, I did not expect someone who could see me to be so plain." My awe was gone.

"Plain?" I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me, I am _anything_ but plain."

"You just keep telling yourself that." She grinned, patting me on the head, though I didn't feel a thing. I tried to swat her hand away, but her arm just went right through mine.

"You can't touch me you know." She shrugged indifferently. "We aren't actually on the same plane of existence at the moment. Which is why you shouldn't be able to see me."

"But you can see me." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Obviously." She smirked.

"Ugh whatever. When I said there should be more female characters, this isn't what I meant." With that, I turned on my heel, and started back up the cliff I had just tumbled down. The rocks cut into my bare feet painfully, but I ignored it. Anything to get me away from the crazy ghost girl. At last, I clambered to the top, panting and exhausted.

"So, where are we going?" I nearly jumped out of my skin again as the girl appeared next to me.

"_We_ are not going anywhere!" I said to her immediately. "_I_ am going back to where my friend is, because I'm not about to abandon her!" she laughed again.

"Ahhhhh, poor poor M." She shook her head, sending waves down her length of hair. "Don't you get it? You're stuck with me now."

"Stuck with you?" I raised an eyebrow. "And wait a minute, how the hell did you know my name?"

"Secrets." She winked. I clenched my fists furiously. How could she be so freaking cute and annoying at the same time?

"That's not fair." I stated, standing quickly and stomping off. She floated beside me effortlessly.

"What's not fair?" she asked pleasantly.

"You some how know my name, which is just creepy by the way, but I don't know who or what _you_ are!" I ranted, refusing to look at her.

"My mistake." She nodded. "The name's Rina." She extended her hand in greeting. I went to shake it, but my hand went right through hers. "Hah!" she let out a loud laugh, reeling through the air, laughing horribly. "I totally faked you out! Sucker!" she stuck her tongue out at me. I groaned.

"Is there anyway to kill ghosts?" I asked hopelessly.

"Nope." Rina grinned, pretending to lean her crossed arms on my head.

"Perfect." Was all I could grumble, trying to increase my pace, not as though it mattered. She just floated along, effortlessly matching any pace I set.

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><p><strong>XD mwahahahaha...<strong>

**okay, anyway, review if you think this was worth it!**


	9. Chapter 9: Walking A lot

"M, where on earth have you been?" Miley hissed, seeing me arrive covered in twigs and mud. I had gotten more or less lost in my attempt to return to Bag End. And it turned out that I hadn't found it in the end. I had instead stumbled across the company of dwarves, plus Bilbo, Miley, and Gandalf, mounting their ponies on the edge of Hobbiton.

"Getting some fresh air." I said blankly. My lack of sleep was finally catching up with me.

"We were just about to leave without you." Miley said in a distressed voice, leading me by the arm to a pony. She was angry with me. Oh well.

"Hey, can you see this?" I asked pointing to the air above my head. Rina, who was still perched there, waved cheerfully down at Miley. The red haired stared at my finger blankly, trying to figure out what I was pointing at.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Never mind." I sighed.

"Told you." Rina chuckled. "Most people can't see me. Or hear me for that matter."

"Great, so now it'll look like I'm talking to myself." I grumbled under my breath as Miley walked away to one of the other ponies.

"Pretty much." Rina grinned.

"What did you say lass?" a hat wearing dwarf said to me from his seat upon a pony.

"Nothing." I sighed, looking around. "Wait… so which pony do I get?"

"You'll have to share." The hatted dwarf shrugged. "I'm Bofur, by the way."

"Nice to meet you." I nodded back, though not paying any attention. "Hey Bilbo!" I hollered, making the already nervous hobbit jump even more on his pony. "Care to share?"

"W-what?" he stammered.

"Can I ride with you?"

"O-oh yes." The hobbit nodded.

"Great." I said, walking over tiredly. This was going to be a long journey, I could tell.

"I wouldn't bother him my dear." Gandalf trotted next to me. "He needs to learn to ride on his own." Bilbo frowned unhappily at the wizard.

"So what am I supposed to do?" I raised an eyebrow. "Walk?"

"You will share a pony with one of the others." Thorin said authoritatively. I glared at him as Miley trotted by, sharing Kili's pony. I scowled deeply. "Fili, she will be riding with you." Thorin then turned away and Fili trotted up next to me, hand outstretched. I stared at it for a moment before turning away and starting after the line of ponies forming.

"Where do you think you're going?" Fili asked from behind me. Everyone seemed to be annoyed with me.

"Wherever it is you lot are going I suppose." Was my reply, though I didn't bother to look back at him. He came to trot alongside me.

"On foot?" he snorted.

"Better than having to ride with you." I spat back. Miley glanced back at me, tapped Kili's shoulder and started a brief conversation before swinging off the pony.

"Here, M." She said, coming over to me. "You ride with Kili. I'll see if I can ride with Gandalf, the ponies are a bit too short for me anyway." She smiled slightly and walked off to Gandalf. I looked after her, feeling abnormally guilty. She and Kili seemed to get along so well. Annoyingly well.

"Soooooo, which one's Kili?" I jumped slightly and looked up at Rina.

"That one." I glanced over at the brunette dwarf who was staring forlornly after Miley. Rina made some sort of dying noise.

"You have an _awful_ taste in men." She commented. I glared at her. "Besides that, he's obviously smitten with your friend. Just give up already."

"There isn't anything _to_ give up." I commented plainly. Rina just snorted. Stupid ghost. I was too busy in conversing; I didn't see Kili coming towards me.

"Come on." He sighed, stopping his pony in front of me. "We're going to get left behind by the others." I, resignedly, accepted his hand for him to pull me up into the saddle.

Wow.

The moment our hands touched, I felt something like a spark of electricity run through me, making all my nerves go rigid before collapsing into a state of jelly. My legs collapsed to the ground as Kili immediately released my hand in shock.

"M!" Miley shouted in alarm, catching sight of me collapse to the ground. My mind went into a state of hazy shock as the company halted and looked back. I did not notice as several dwarves and the three other non-dwarves dismounted and rushed to me. Nor did I notice that Kili continued to stare at his hand with a puzzled expression.

"M?" Miley shook my shoulder. "M, are you okay?" a gray haired dwarf began looking in my eyes with a medical air about him. At this however, I snapped out of my daze.

"I'm fine." I snapped, wide eyed, pushing the hands away as I stood and turned back to the line of ponies. Though I said so, my eyes were still glazed over, and it was impossible too focus on anything. "I'll just walk, don't mind me." And I did, my limbs felt strange and numb however, as I strode along wearily behind the line of ponies. Only Bilbo felt any inclination to stay next to me, even if that meant falling a bit behind the others. And, of course, Rina. The ghost woman had started testing if Bilbo could hear or see her. It started by simply waving her hand in front of his face, or shouting in his ear. When those made no impression, she started taunting and making rude gestures, fully taking advantage of her invisibility.

I didn't take notice of any of it. I couldn't focus on anything. Just on putting one foot in front of the other. Several times, Bilbo said something about taking a rest, but I ignored him.

It was only when Thorin called out that we would be making camp for the night, did I finally slow my pace. The dwarves quickly set to work making themselves at home and working out who would take first watch once they had all turned in. It was only when Bofur called my name did I finally move. I looked up in shock, as my legs crumpled to the ground, dragging the rest of me with it. Miley and the gray dwarf from before were immediately at my sides.

"M? What's wrong? Spit it out!" Miley shook me.

"Alright, alright!" I said, holding my hands up to stop her. "I'm fine." I shook my head. "I just spent the _entire_ day, walking at the same pace as ponies! What did you expect?"

"It was your own fault." Fili's voice sounded from behind me. I groaned.

"Spare me." I shook my head. The gray haired dwarf shook his head and stood.

"There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the lass." He reported.

"Thank you Oin." Miley nodded.

"Hey, is he their medicine dwarf?" Rina asked curiously. "That is uncanny! Oin… in charge of the _oin_tments!" She laughed hysterically. I just rolled my eyes. Then my annoyance vanished instantly as I saw Kili walking over.

"How is she?" He asked Miley, though he wasn't even looking at me.

"Oin said she'd be fine." The crimson haired girl sighed. "Thankfully. I don't know what she was thinking, walking all the way."

"I _am_ still here you know." I sulked. Kili glanced down at me. Our eyes locked briefly, then he immediately turned away, almost nervously, to look again at Miley.

"Well, Fili and I saved you a spot by the fire if you care to join us."

"Thank you kindly, master dwarf." Miley smiled beautifully. I looked away in disgust.

"Get a room, will you?" I huffed. Miley shot me an annoyed glare before turning away to head to the fire.

"Nothing to give up, huh?" Rina smirked at me. I glared back. Apparently, however, there was someone sitting on the other side of her, because that someone let out a terrified squeak. Rina floated up slightly, whirling around in surprise. I found myself looking right at Ori. My glare immediately diminished.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I wasn't glaring at you! I swear!" I apologized quickly. The trembling dwarf just ran to his eldest brother.

"He's…" Rina gaped. "Perfect." I looked at her in surprise.

"What?" I frowned. Her eyes were fixed on Ori.

"That striking lad over there." She pointed straight at Ori, her mouth hanging slightly agape. "He's perfect." I turned back to her.

"You can't be serious." She looked back at me.

"You really must be blind." She shook her head. "What's his name, anyway?"

"Ori." I sighed, burying my head in my hands.

"Beautiful." Rina breathed, floating over towards the dwarven scholar. My stomach grumbled hungrily, but I was too tired to do anything about it. Instead, I just flopped on the ground, and tried to fall asleep.

"Hah!" the last thing I heard was Fili's mocking voice. "It's settled! Kili, you get first watch!"

"Gee, some friend you are."

"Enjoy yourself!" and I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

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><p><strong>Some development! Finally!<strong>

**Review if you want. I'll appreciate it!**


	10. Chapter 10: Facing myself

I didn't like sleeping in books. It was always like a gray haze of nothingness. A nothingness that I had to wait through. The whole night, sitting in a gray haze. And to make it worse, I was freezing. The dew must have settled on me, or the night chill. At any rate, I was confident I was going to catch a cold. But sometime, during the sleep, the cold seemed to lessen. Most likely Miley with an extra blanket or something. And then I felt movement. Something was moving me. First rapidly, then in a gentle, almost soothing bob. But I still couldn't wake up. The gray haze persisted to fill my senses.

Then, slowly, I began to drift into consciousness. I was leaning against someone as a pony moved beneath me. I opened my eyes to see the face of a blonde haired dwarf, his eyes fixed on the rode in front of him.

"What the hell!" I exclaimed loudly, scaring most of the ponies and jumping away from him myself, sending myself so wisely out of the saddle and toppling down a large, rocky incline that the company was riding along the top of. I tumbled painfully down the cliff before landing in a heap at the bottom.

When I at last untangled myself from the brambles at the bottom, I looked up to be, once again, the center of the company's stares. I stared back stubbornly. Rina floated down, holding back a chuckle.

"Well, it would seem she is finally awake." Gandalf smiled down at me, clearly amused.

"Do you really think this woman will aid our quest?" Thorin questioned, clearly _not_ amused.

"She has many talents." Miley defended me, though the look in her gaze clearly said '_M, you better start shaping up or we'll never pull this off_'.

"I don't think sleeping and falling count as talents." Fili smirked.

"Neither does being a jackass." I snapped back. Several of the dwarves chuckled.

"At least she doesn't look like she got trampled by an Oliphant." Kili commented, quick to defend his brother. I gritted my teeth, suddenly aware of what a state I must be in at the moment. Covered in dirt and cuts, my hair a mess, and my clothes torn and stained. I looked up at Kili.

"Well, at least I'm not a vain jerk that won't even share a pony if he's not trying to get into someone's trou-"

"M!" Miley shouted. I shut my mouth immediately and glanced at the red head. She was trembling furiously.

"Sorry." I grumbled, before turning and walking away.

"Where do you think you're going?" Thorin's voice rang after her. Obviously worried about the integrity of his _oh so secret_ quest.

"I'm not climbing back up that!" I shouted over my shoulder. Falling down a cliff was one thing, climbing up it was completely different. "I'll just meet you at the bottom." And I stomped off, once again, travelling on foot. Rina floated quietly behind me.

"You don't get along with people very well, do you?" she observed after a moment.

"I get along with people fine!" I snapped.

"Suuuuuuure you do." She nodded.

"Look." I sighed, stopping a moment to look at her. "I'm not the best with people. I'll admit. But I've survived well enough so far. I'll make it through this journey even if it kills me." I turned and started walking again, adding under my breath. "Sooner rather than later I hope."

"Sure, you can _survive_ it." Rina rolled her eyes, floating on her back easily. "But maybe if you try to get along with people, you might even _enjoy_ it!" I glanced at her for a moment.

"Enjoy a medieval rode trip with a bunch of dirty men?" A loud snort came out my nose. "Highly unlikely."

"You know, they aren't as dirty as you believe." Rina sighed. I didn't reply. "I was watching them, you know. While you were asleep. They seemed genuinely worried when you didn't wake up."

"You're a terrible liar." I said.

"I'm not lying." She shot back. "They really were concerned! They discussed several plans, but not once did they even consider leaving you behind."

"That's dumb. I would have ditched them in a heart beat."

"Oh… now I get it." Rina stopped, floating to the ground. I turned to look at her in confusion.

"Get what? There's nothing to get." I huffed.

"No… you… you can't accept that people can be kind." Rina looked at me with eyes filled with pity. I hated it. "You can't accept that people aren't like you."

"Like me?" I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean like me?"

"A liar, rude, untrusting, untrustworthy, and self obsessed." She rattled off quickly. I stared at her. Slowly, opening my mouth to cuss her off. But after a moment of silence, I shut it again and turned away, quickening my pace in a desperate attempt to get rid of the horribly perceptive ghost.

"So I'm right?" she asked, floating behind me.

"Oh for the love of everything! Will you just leave me alone?" The words rang out of my mouth and I sprinted forward. I ran and ran and ran. My just heaved and my tears flowed. My feet grew more and more bloodied as I hurtled across the silt-covered ground. But I didn't stop running.

She was wrong. Wrong. She had to be! People were like that! It wasn't just her. It couldn't be! Everyone lies! Everyone thinks only about themselves! Everyone trusts no one. That was just a fact of life. It was the truth. If I had learned anything over my 21 years of life, it was that this was the _only_ truth. The only truth that always applied. Always.

Who was some ghost to tell me otherwise? She knew nothing! She had lied, just like everyone else! So I did the only thing I knew to do.

I ran.

_"My feet are killing me." Kili groaned from his saddle behind me. I leaned away from Gandalf slightly to look back at the dwarf. _

_"You're feet are killing you?" I laughed. "But you're riding a pony."_

_"I know, but my feet are still killing me!" the brunette frowned. I laughed happily. The dwarf reminded me very much of my little brother. I hadn't seen Hamish in so long. And Kili was truly a joy to be around. A dear friend. But I could never see him being anything more than that. I don't know why M seemed to think so. She was definitely acting very odd since coming here. She had always been a little strange, but in a good sort of way. The kind of way that always keeps you pleasantly on your toes. But since coming to Middle Earth, the girl had taking a frightful turn for the worst._

_I wanted desperately to help her somehow, but I had no idea how. If only she would just loosen up a little._

_Thorin called out a halt from the front. I looked around to see that we had reached the bottom of the incline. Which meant M was most likely there. I sighed slightly and dismounted walking down to the front. But the sight I saw had me running the rest o the way down._

_M was curled up against the cliff, her feet bloody and raw._

_"Oh no." I breathed, stopping in front of her. She stirred slightly and looked up at me. Her eyes were puffy and red, dried tears gracing her cheeks. Slowly, she smiled a thin, weary smile._

_"Took you all long enough."_

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><p><strong>So is anyone reading this still? just wondering. I don't want to be wasting my time.<strong>


	11. Chapter 11: Let's be Friends

It all seemed so simple now. No one could hurt me if I didn't let them. That's all there was to it. So I decided to take Rina and Miley's advice, and just lighten up. But first, I was going to sleep. And I was going to sleep for a long, long time. The gray haze had already overtaken me when someone's arms lifted me off the rocky ground. And I knew nothing more.

"Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake… Yay! You're awake again!" Rina's voice penetrated annoyingly through my skull. I still hadn't moved, how did she know I was awake? "Come on! Don't try to hide it! It won't work anyway." Groaning slightly, I opened my eyes. It was night. Or so I assumed. The only light seemed to be coming from the crackling fire. It was quiet too. Just the sounds of crickets and snoring.

"You're finally awake." A gentle voice whispered sounding relieved. I looked up to see Miley smiling down at me. My head was lying on her lap like a pillow. The rest of my body was wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. I could not feel my feet. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not.

"I guess I am." Came my croaking reply, a smile slipping over my own features.

"You sound like a frog." Miley chuckled stroking hair out of my face.

"You sound like my mom." I snorted back, closing my eyes again. Miley was silent for a moment.

"You never talked about your mom much." She commented lightly. My eyes opened again and I stared straight into the fire. I was suddenly aware of Fili and Kili sitting nearby. They seemed to be the only ones still awake. Oh well. It didn't matter if they heard. The dwarves probably wouldn't care anyway.

"She died when I was young." I told Miley softly. "A few months before I discovered my gift."

"Oh." The red head said quietly.

"It was awhile ago, no big deal." I sighed. The blankets really were very comfortable.

"You should get some more sleep." Miley suggested after a silence. "We won't be breaking camp for a while yet." I hummed back, letting my eyes close again as my body relaxed once more. But it wasn't to last.

The air was split with an unearthly cry. It echoed around the surroundings, causing me to shoot up into a sitting position. The cry came again as my favorite hobbit came hurrying back to the fire.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Orcs." Kili replied, his face grim.

"Orcs?" Bilbo repeated, looking around nervously.

"Throat cutters." Fili elaborated. "There'll be dozens of them out there. The low lands are crawling with them." I glanced over at the blonde dwarf and rolled my eyes. Miley shot me an equally unamused look. We both knew where this was going.

"They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep." Kili continued, pulling a classic horror story face. "Quick and quiet. No screams, just lots of blood." The younger brother watched Bilbo closely as the hobbit looked around nervously. Fili, however, glanced in our direction. I made a show of yawning and lying back down. It sent the message across loud and clear. _Not very impressed_. Kili however, found Bilbo's reaction hilarious, letting out a chuckle before turning back to whatever he was whittling away at.

"You think that's funny?" Thorin's voice barked, making me jump slightly again. Won't these people just let me sleep? "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili said quickly, shame evident in his voice.

"No, you didn't." Thorin spat. "You know nothing of the world." And the brood master stalked off in majestic flashback memoryness. I tried hard to hold back a snort. So melodramatic.

"Don't mind him laddie." Balin said, walking out of the shadows. I was _never_ getting any sleep again. "Thorin has more cause than most, to hate orcs." I listened passively as the old dwarf launched into a story about a battle and fighting. His grandfatherly voice was the only reason I kept interest. I don't mean to seem rude or anything, because I'm sure Thorin had a very hard time with everything. But I wasn't the type who liked stories about huge wars. "There is one, I could call king." Balin finished. All the company was awake now, watching as Thorin turned back around, sadness in his eyes.

"But the pale orc…" Bilbo spoke up, breaking the silence. "What happened to him?"

"He slunk back into the hole from whence he came." Thorin growled. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

"No he didn't." I turned in surprise to see Rina frowning next to me, arms crossed. The ghost looked down at me. "The pale orc isn't dead."

"Miley," I whispered as the rest of the company settled down to sleep again. "_Is_ he dead?"

"Yes." She answered. "But his son makes an appearance towards the end of the book." I frowned, but nodded anyway. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I shrugged. "I'm going to get some sleep while I can. Wake me before we leave all right? I'd rather not wake up to ponies again."

"Fine." Miley chuckled. "Good night."

"G'night."

And I was awake again. The sunlight illuminating the dew covered camp. Resignedly, I squirmed out of the mass of blankets. Where did they all come from even?

"And sleeping beauty has awakened!" Miley announced, causing Kili and Fili to let out amused snorts. I rolled my eyes.

"How kind." Ah, nothing like peers to give you a hard time about everything. "Anyway, Miley, could you introduce me to everyone? I think I may have started off on a bad foot." Always now all you can about others. Best way to learn their weaknesses.

"Good one!" Fili snorted. He seemed to be in a good mood this morning. Apparently Thorin's put down hadn't really hit home for him.

"Good what?" I frowned.

"Joke." The blonde smirked. "Mentioning a bad foot."

"How is that funny?" I frowned further. He just nodded down at my own feet. I looked down to see them bandaged tightly. No wonder I couldn't feel them. "Oh." I said simply. "That's why I'm funny."

"Anyway, your gonna be riding with either Kili or I today." Fili stood, tucking his pipe away.

"I still don't get my own pony?" I sighed.

"Nope." He shook his head. "Do you even know how to ride one?" I gave him a look. "Okay, okay. It was a valid question though."

"What would make you think that I couldn't ride one?" I asked.

"Because you're a nutcase." I turned to find Kili grumbling as he packed his saddlebags.

"Excuse you." I raised an eyebrow. Miley appeared almost immediately and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't push it M. Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone." She started to pull me away.

"Don't push what?" I asked in annoyance. "It's not like he can just go around be rude to me like that." Miley just stared at me for a moment.

"Did you completely forget what you said yesterday?" I looked at her in confusion for a moment, before the conversation came floating back to me after I had fallen down the cliff.

"…Oh. You must admit that it was true though."

"M!" Miley hissed, getting angry.

"What?" I raised my hands defensively.

"We're just friends you idiot." My roommate snapped.

"I'm pretty sure he's got a bit more than friendship on his mind." I couldn't help but comment.

"Can't let go." Rina whispered mockingly.

"Just drop it M." Miley sighed. "You were being rude, no mater the situation." Before I could reply, the red haired girl dragged me off to meet the dwarves. I learned their names. And then promptly forgot them. Oh well. They all rhymed anyway, how was I supposed to remember them?

"Oooooh, can you ride with Ori today?" Rina squealed hopefully.

"What? No way." I looked at her. "If you're so infatuated with him, go follow him around."

"But he can't see me!" Rina looked pained to say this. "And he's so quiet… I just want to hear his voice… to see him talk… to-"

"Not my problem!" I snapped, realizing that everyone was looking at me. Oh snap. "Sorry about that." I apologized quickly, turning away in embarrassment. "Look what you made me do!" I hissed so only Rina could hear.

"Serves you right for keeping me from my true love." She sniffed in disdain.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes.

"Hurry up and get on." Kili spoke suddenly, trotting up on his pony.

"Oh no, I wouldn't force you to ride with a _nutcase_." I shook my head empathetically. "I'll ride with Fili. He actually seems to have a sense of humor anyway."

"Fine." Kili snapped.

"Fine." I snapped back, stomping off to go find his elder brother. Jerk.

Unfortunately, because I was riding with Fili, that meant I was also on the pony either in front of or behind Kili. And also Miley, which was cool, but the brunette dwarf was really starting to get on my nerves. It's not that he was ignoring me. I could deal with that. It was the fact that he took every chance he could to insult me. It seemed totally uncalled for. So once it started down pouring, I took the opportunity to ask Fili about it while Bilbo gave Gandalf a hard time about wizards or something like that.

"So, what is the deal with your brother?" I asked from my seat behind Fili.

"What about him?" the blonde replied. I glanced around for Rina, but she was off floating behind Ori. Good. No comments from the peanut gallery today.

"Well, he obviously hates me." Fili shrugged in reply. "Why?"

"Well, you did insinuate something rather scandalous about him."

"Scandalous?" I scoffed. "Okay, maybe a bit rude, but you must admit that he's been pining after Miley since he first laid eyes on her." As the words came out of my mouth, I could feel my stomach knotting uncomfortably at the obvious truth.

"Do you know much about dwarves, Gil?" Fili asked after a moment. Gil? Oh, right… my alias.

"Absolutely nothing." I replied. "Do tell." More weaknesses. It was wonderful.

"We dwarves have a One." Fili started. "A dwarves One is the one other that they will love for the rest of their lives, no matter what. A special bond forms between the two people upon meeting. They're never quiet the same ever again." I frowned.

"That's… like a sappy romance novel." I snorted.

"Watch it, that's the customs of my people you're insulting there."

"Sorry, sorry." I apologized. "So what's this bond like?"

"It's magical, lass." A dwarf spoke from the pony behind me. I turned to see… Gloin? I think? "When I first laid eyes on my wife, I just _knew_ she was the one for me. My life just felt complete." I grunted in reply. "It was very hard to leave her behind for this quest. It's very hard to be apart from someone's One for too long." Sappy romance novel. "I wasn't going to go, but my wife insisted. Mahal, I miss her."

"What's she like?" I asked, slightly interested. I wasn't one for sappy romance, but I was really bored.

"She's a true dwarrowdam. Aye, as strong as any dwarf, that's for sure. Raises our son with and Iron fist, she does. Poor Gimil was so disappointed that he didn't get to come with me. Nonetheless, he's still but a lad. Could hold his own in a fight though."

"How old is he?" I asked, conversationally.

"Oh, he'll be turning 58 this winter." Gloin nodded. Silence fell with the rain and clung to me like mist.

"58?" I sputtered, after a moment.

"Aye." Gloin nodded.

"But… but…" I continued to stammer. How was 58 'but a lad'?

"Speaking of which, how old are you lass?"

"21…" I managed to get out. Fili roared. "Hey! I'm being serious here!"

"There's no way you're 21." The blonde continued to chuckle, clutching his side in pain.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Because you'd have to still be barely a toddler. And though, I will admit, you do _act_ like a child. You certainly don't look like one."

"I can't tell whether that was an insult of a compliment, but remind me to sock you for it once we stop for camp." I growled.

"I'll make sure to conveniently forget."

"Jerk."

* * *

><p><strong>So M's trying to be a bit friendlier. We'll see how it goes.<strong>

**Please don't forget to review! **


	12. Chapter 12: Being nice is Hard

"We'll camp here for the night." Ah, music to my ears! "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them."

"Gee, with a warning like that, how can they _not_ stay with them?" I whispered sarcastically to Miley.

"Murphy's law." The crimson haired girl winked back.

"So when do we go and bust them for not watching their post?" I asked, making sure the dwarves didn't hear.

"Eh, wait till after dinner." Miley shrugged. "I'm starving." I nodded.

"Make sure the pig doesn't eat it all!" Kili called over his shoulder as he lead two of the ponies into the woods after his brother. I snorted loudly, unable stifle my laugh.

"Poor Bombur. That was rude." I continued to snicker. Miley stared at me for a moment before replying.

"You do realize he was referring to you, right?" I stared at her blankly for a moment.

"I am so going to kill him." My matted brown hair flipped over my shoulder as I moved to go share a piece of my mind with that idiot of a dwarf.

"Just leave it." Rina chortled. "There's no way you would beat him in hand to hand combat anyway."

"Says who?" I scowled. I actually know a decent bit of hand to hand combat. After my booking jumping hand gotten more frequent I had wisely taken a self-defense class.

"Says me." Rina sighed, floating up a little. "Now come along and talk to Ori for me!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I can't! Please? I won't make you ask any strange questions, I promise!"

"Fine." Rina squealed with delight and quickly lead me over to the scholar who was scribbling away in a large book.

"Sit down and talk to him." The ghost instructed. I sat. Ori jumped and eyed me nervously. "Ask him how he's been."

"How have you been?" I asked, very bored.

"Uh-u-uh well… I-I've b-been-n f-fine… I g-guess?" the scholar stammered. Not surprisingly I had scared him at least twice by now and my current behavior was completely unexplainable. Completely unexplainable, except for the fact that I have an invisible ghost following me around.

"Ask him what he's writing about!"

"What are you writing about?" I said in monotone, not even looking at him.

"I-I'm to account the a-adventures of t-the quest." Ori stammered back. Rina let out a squeal of delight.

"He is just so adorable!" I let out a long sigh as she reeled through the air. "Ask him what kind of girl he likes!"

"No."

"W-what?" Ori asked in confusion.

"I wasn't talking to you. Don't worry yourself."

"O-oh…"

"Come on! You have to ask him! Please, for me?" Rina pleaded.

"Nice talking to you. Sorry about the weirdness." I sighed and stood with a huff, walking away as Rina continued to wail in my ear.

"Meany! You're so mean! Why'd I have to get stuck to a meany like you? I wish you could see me at all! This is why you don't have any friends! Because you're mean!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" And surprisingly, she did. And so did everyone else. Oh shoot.

"Sorry lass…" Bofur stammered, finally breaking the silence. "We didn't mean to be getting so loud…"

"N-No…" I shook my head. "I-I…" Oh snap. Oh snap. Oh snap. "I was talking to this stupid ghost that's been following me around!" … Wait…. What?

Silence fell again.

"A ghost?" Miley frowned.

"Y-y…. yeah." I sighed pointing up to Rina who was floating over my head. Everyone looked up to where I was pointing. Rina blushed strongly.

"I don't see anything." Bofur shook his head.

"I didn't expect you to."

"She's clearly insane." I heard Thorin growl to Dwalin.

"She is not insane." Miley turned on him.

"So what if I am?" I snapped. "It's not like you're going to leave me behind. I might tell someone about your precious little 'quest'." Thorin glared daggers at me. "Just chill out." I strode over to Bilbo and took one of the bowls from his hands. "Come on little hobbit dude. Let's go feed some hungry dwarves." I did not wait for Bilbo to follow as I took off towards where Fili and his brother had lead the ponies. However, I did not see any dwarves. I searched further fruitlessly, until, at last, I heard voices.

"Well, do you think she could be your, you know…" Fili's voice?

"But it's Miley… I'm sure of it." Talking about Miley? Interesting.

"How can you be sure?" Seems like a deep conversation.

"But… it has to be…"

"What has to be?" The two brothers jumped significantly as I appeared behind them, Bilbo following not too far behind. The brothers said nothing. I stared closely at both of them. Kili seemed to pale considerably, Fili was just smirking.

"Nothing." The brunette said at last.

"… Suuuuure." I shrugged handing Bilbo the second bowl and walking over to the ponies again. "You guys are really bad at watching over ponies."

"What do you mean?" Fili asked in annoyance. The two brothers walked over, Bilbo trailing slowly behind. "Oh."

"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked, coming in between the two brothers.

"We had sixteen." Kili swallowed.

"Now there's…"

"Fourteen." I finished for Fili. "Way to go bozos."

"This is entirely your fault." Kili hissed as he stomped past me.

"_My_ fault? How the-"

"Quiet!" Fili shushed me, slowly approaching an uprooted tree.

"Well that" Bilbo pointed at the tree. "Is not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"Uhh, no." Fili shook his head "Let's not worry him."

"Daisy and Bungo are missing." Rina said from above me. I frowned, looking at the ponies.

"As our official burglar," the blonde dwarf continued. "We thought you might like to look into it." I shot a glare at Fili. What was he up to?

"Well, uh…" Bilbo stammered. "Looks like something… big… uprooted these trees."

"That was our thinking." Kili agreed seriously. It was the same tone he had used while talking about the orcs a few nights ago.

"Something very big, and possibly quite dangerous…"

"Hey!" Fili whispered urgently. "There's a light. Over here! Stay down." The two brothers and Bilbo crouched down behind a log. I just snorted and strode past them.

"There's trolls over there." Rina informed me, floating slightly ahead.

"How many, and how big?" I asked quietly, unfazed. In the back of my mind, I was vaguely aware of someone calling.

"Three. Slightly shorter than the trees nearby." I stopped in my tracks.

"That's… big."

"Normal sized for mountain trolls actually." The ghost shrugged. Suddenly, my arm was grabbed.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kili hissed. Immediately, I spun around, yanked my arm out of his grasp, and stumbled back a few steps.

"_Don't _touch me." The words spit out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying. "Don't you _ever_ touch me." So much for trying to get along. I hadn't meant to snap. It's just… Being grabbed from behind so roughly… set off some bad memories.

I didn't miss the surprisingly hurt look no Kili's face as he took a step away from me. My heart did this little painful jump type thing and I was forced to look away. So instead, I turned back towards the light up ahead.

"He's got Myrtle and Minty!" Bilbo hissed as he and Fili hid a ways up. I was confused for a moment before I saw a huge hulking gray mound of moving muscle stomp past, a pony tucked under each arm. "I think their going to eat them, we have to do something!" I was about to walk up, but Kili walked faster, his shoulders squared unusually straight.

"Yes, you should." I nodded to Bilbo, giving him very innocent looking eyes. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small." Bilbo shook his head in protest. "They'll never see you." Kili persisted, ignoring Bilbo's objections. "It's perfectly safe! We'll be right behind you." He shoved the hobbit towards his brother.

"If you get into trouble," Fili told Bilbo "hoot twice like a brown owl, once like a barn owl." With that he gently shoved Bilbo towards the light and hurried off, motioning for me to follow. When I didn't, Fili grew exasperated.

"What are you doing?" Rina asked in confusion.

"Leave her." Kili whispered to his brother. "If she wants to throw herself into danger, that's her problem." He still gave me a hard glare, but hurried off anyway, not sparing a second glance. Fili followed a moment later.

"Where'd they go?" Bilbo asked in confusion, having finally turned back around.

"To stuff their faces." I made a face, noticing they had taken the bowls of soup. "Come on Hobbit dude, we're on our own." I started to creep past him towards the fire. Bilbo followed tentatively.

"You don't happen to know how to hoot like an owl, do you?" Bilbo whispered from behind me.

"Nope." I replied, not stopping.

"Neither do I."

* * *

><p><strong>Well, this should be interesting.<strong>

**Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13: Out of a troll hand, into t-

The trolls were huge. They were large, gray, and stank like the high heavens. And just generally gross. The ground was littered with old bones and bits of things that were definitely once alive. They were also conversing rather loudly about eating ponies and sheep and farmers and all sorts of things related to eating. Their noise made it surprisingly easy to sneak past them to the crude pen that held our ponies.

Bilbo pulled on the ropes for a moment before looking at me helplessly. I too tried, even Rina tried, though I think she was just bored because she started cracking herself up. I shot the ghost a angry look before tapping Bilbo on the shoulder and pointing to a knife I had spotted in the one trolls belt. Though I'm pretty sure he spotted it at the same time as me.

"How come e'es the cook?" one of the trolls complained loudly. "Everything tastes the same! Everything tastes like chicken."

"Except the chicken." Commented the other.

"Which tastes like fish!" the first nodded. I tried hard not to laugh, despite the situation. I reminded me of Thanksgiving dinner with my relatives. The trolls were just like hungry relatives. Only bigger.

… We were in so much danger right now.

"I'm just saying a little appreciation would be nice!" the third snarled back. "'Thank you very much Bert' 'Lovely stew Bert' how hard is that? Hmm… it just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung." Okay… so my hungry relatives without any manners or sanitation. "Oi! That's _my_ grog!" the cook snapped, hitting the other and sending him almost squishing me.

The good news is: he didn't squish me.

The bad news is: he saw me instead.

"Ooh! What's this?" before I could do a thing, the troll grabbed me by the leg and brought me up to dangle before his face. I was very thankful I was wearing pants under my dress.

"What is it?" the largest asked.

"I don't know…" the one holding me stared. Great. Being manhandled. Again. Not this time. I swung myself up and grabbed hold of his hand. Wishing I had a nose plug, I pulled my head and bit him hard on the finger. The troll gave out a yelp and dropped me. But the others immediately surrounded me.

"It's got a bit of spirit in it this one!" the large troll with a knife grinned. I looked around frantically for Bilbo. "What are you then? An oversized squirrel?"

"What? Oh I'm a…" I stared blankly for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"An A?" the troll frowned. My hungry relatives without any manners or sanitation and even less intelligence(I didn't know that was even possible).

"Can we cook 'er?" the cook troll asked excitedly.

"We can try!" A massive hand swiped towards me and I quickly dodged, running through a pair of legs to the other side.

"Ooh! Here's another one!" I froze. Big mistake. I was quickly snatched up by the hair and was dangled in the air once again. Bilbo hung next to me.

"Damn it Bilbo!" I hissed. "You should have run!" The hobbit just hyperventilated.

"Now…" the troll looked at us. "Are there any more of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn't?"

"Nope." Bilbo replied immediately. I chose to let him handle this one. My hair felt like it was being pulled out of my scalp.

"He's lying." One of the trolls sneered.

"No I'm not!"

"Hold their toes over the fire! Make em squeal!" the one holding Bilbo grinned before letting out a loud screech and dropping Bilbo to the ground. The hobbit quickly scrambled to his feet to hide behind… Kili?

"Drop her!" he shouted.

"You what?" the one holding me asked. Why did it have to be Kili?

"I said…" Kili twirled his sword. "Drop her." The trolls looked at each other and shrugged before lobbing me straight at the dwarf. I could do nothing but fly threw the air straight into him. Thankfully, he had been smart enough to drop his sword. But now the trolls would just grab all three of us. Idiot.

Then the battle cries sounded. I looked up to see the rest of the dwarves and Miley surge through the clearing, attacking the trolls anyway they could. Miley seemed to have borrowed an extra weapon, though she didn't seem very effective with it.

"Get off!" Kili grunted. I quickly rolled off, not realizing that he had been under me. Now _I_ felt like the idiot. "You must weigh more than an Oliphant!" No idea what an Oliphant is, but it sounded pretty close to Elephant. The jump wasn't hard.

"Excuse me?" I snapped, standing to my feet and Kili did the same, grabbing his sword from the ground. "I didn't _ask_ for your help, just so you know. I had things perfectly under control!" the brunette just rolled his eyes.

"Kili!" Thorin's voice rang out. The dwarf turned back to the battle.

"Just stay out of the way." He snapped before rushing into the fray. He wanted me to stay out of the way? Fine. Fine, I'll stay out of the way. I turned in a huff, climbed a nearby tree and watched the fight. I didn't do a thing. Even when Bilbo got grabbed. Even when the dwarves surrendered. Even when they were all stuffed in sacks or tied to a spit.

"Don't bother cooking em." One of the trolls grumbled. "Let's just sit on em one by one and squash em into jelly!" Rina coughed next to me.

"Naw, they should be sautéed. With a sprinkle of sage." I snorted. These guys were classic.

"Are you going to help or not?" Rina hissed.

"That does sound quite nice." The third nodded.

"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night!"

"M, Please!"

"Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on! I don't fancy being turned to stone!" Bingo.

"Hold it one moment!" my voice rang across the clearing. All heads turned towards my perch in the tree, even Bilbo who was just about to open his mouth and say something.

"It's the A!" one of the trolls recognized. I took a deep breath. My plan was most likely going to get me killed. But it was all eyes on me. Center stage. In the spotlight. Might as well give em a show worth remembering.

"Yes. It is I. The A." I stood slowly on my branch, trying to channel as much majesty as I could. It must have worked, because everyone was completely silent. "And I have come to say… CURSES UPON YOU!" I shouted loudly, making all the dwarves jump and the trolls cringe. "You DARE to touch I! The mighty A herself? Fools! Those who touch the might A will be severely punished! These dwarves are filled with a deadly poison! If you eat them, you will surely die!"

"Wait a minute." The largest troll stopped cowering. "If they were meant to punish us, then why are you telling us about them?" Drat.

"Because I have decided to spare you this once!" I boomed, thinking quick on my feet. "Let the dwarves go and all will be forgotten!"

"Why should we bother letting em all go?" another troll asked.

"Because that is my order!" I turned to him. "I am the mighty A!"

"I've never actually heard of an A before." He snorted. Oh fiddlesticks…

"I bet she's lying!"

"Wait!" Bilbo's voice sounded out. Oh no. "You are making a terrible mistake!" the trolls turned on him now.

"You've heard of an A before?" one demanded. Bilbo looked at the troll for a moment, then at me, then back at the troll.

"Well… no. But I wasn't talking about that. I meant with the seasoning."

"Who cares?" the largest troll shouted, but the cook troll hit him over the head with his ladle before moving really close to Bilbo.

"What about the seasoning?"

"Well, have you smelt them?" the hobbit asked. "You're going to need something a lot stronger than sage before you plate this lot up!" Oh that little genius! I could kiss him! The dwarves however, seemed to think differently.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" the largest growled.

"The little man has a point!" I spoke again. "Dwarves only taste good after being thoroughly covered in…" my mind pulled a blank again.

"Bird dung!" Bilbo covered for me. Genius little hobbit. The dwarves screamed angrily.

"Bird dung?" The cook frowned.

"But that's not all!" Bilbo cried in alarm, sensing his authority slipping. "No, the true secret to cooking dwarf is…" his words dropped off and he looked at the ground, for a moment thinking 'why on earth am I trying to come up with the secret to cooking dwarf?'.

"Yes, come on." The troll prodded impatiently.

"It's uh…"

"Tell us the secret!"

"Yes I'm _telling _you." Bilbo stressed. "The secret is toooooo…" he glanced over at me.

"Skin them first!" I shouted immediately. A huge grin broke onto my face. I had finally thought of something! The roar of the dwarves was horribly loud.

"If I get you, you little-" Gloin shouted at Bilbo and I.

"I won't forget that!" Dwalin pointed at me threateningly.

"What a load of rubbish!" one of the trolls shouted. "I like em better with their skins on! Scuff em, I say. Boots and all!"

"E's right!" a troll stomped over to the pile. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf!" He snagged Bombur, dangling the large dwarf over his mouth. "Nice and crunchy!"

"Not-not that one! He's infected!" Bilbo yelled. Everyone paused and looked at him.

"You what?" the large troll asked.

"Yeah, he's got worms in his…" Bilbo dragged off.

"Tubes." Rina whispered.

"Tubes." I supplied, sitting back down on the branch. The troll made a squealing noise and dropped Bombur back on the pile. "In fact, they all have." I nodded. "They're all _infested_ with parasites."

"It's a terrible business." Bilbo agreed. "I wouldn't risk it. I really wouldn't."

"Parasites?" Oin hollered. "Did they say parasites?"

"We don't have parasites!" Kili shouted, glaring straight at me. "_You_ have parasites!" Real mature there Kili. Real mature.

"What are you talking about laddie?" Gloin asked in confusion. Etc. Etc. Thorin kicked someone and everyone fell silent. I coughed loudly.

"I've… got parasites as big as my arm." Oin said innocently.

"Mine are the biggest parasites! I've got huge parasites!"

"We're riddled."

"Yes I'm riddled."

"Yes we are. Badly." Bilbo nodded approvingly before turning back to the trolls.

"What would you have us do?" the largest troll asked. "Let em all go?"

"Well…" Bilbo nodded.

"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!"

"Ferret?"

"Fools?"

"I'd listen to him if I were you." I shrugged. "Going around eaten riddled, poisoned dwarves can't be a good-" my words were cut short as the large troll snatched me off a branch. The air was crushed quickly from my lungs as the troll held me to his face.

"And I've had enough of _you_. A or not!" I would have replied, but breathing was rather difficult at the moment.

"Let her go!" Someone shouted. I was too close to passing out to figure out who.

"Oh, I'll let her go alright." The troll hissed. "Right into the fire!" And he dropped me. As I was falling, I heard a familiar voice cry out.

"Dawn take you all!"

"Who's that?"

"No idea."

"Can we eat him too?"

And I fell into the fire.

* * *

><p><strong>I had so much trouble with this scene. The trolls danger is all in their size. Their lines are comically mundane. So I decided to have them actually do more than crush someone's ribs. Tried, anyway.<strong>

**Please review so I know people are actually reading this!**


	14. Chapter 14: Burns and a troll horde

Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot!

I quickly rolled out of the campfire, but it seemed to be following me, or something. Oh shoot. I was on burning.

… I was burning! What was I supposed to do again? Crap. Right! Stop, drop and roll. Stop and drop… already on the ground. And roll. I rolled around frantically until the sight of flames disappeared. I still felt like I was burning though. I didn't get up immediately. Panting, I lay motionless in the dirt, vaguely aware to morning light pouring into the clearing. There were also sounds of cheering. They better not be cheering about me falling in the fire. Wait… daylight. That means the trolls were stone! Good.

Rina hovered over top of me asking if I was all right. I wearily tried to sit up, but soon found out that _that_ wasn't going to work.

"Hey, help me up, will you?" I asked the nearest dwarf. Drat. Of course it had to be Kili. Whatever, I was too tired to care super much. Kili narrowed his eyes at me before turning away. I scowled. "Rudeness."

"You were the one who told me not to touch you." The dwarf spat before stomping off to go check on Miley. I could only stare after him in shock.

"That… that… Jerk!" I all but shouted. Several dwarves turned to me in surprise. I stood angrily, but a wave of pain caused me to stumble forwards. Thankfully, Dori caught me before I face planted into the ground. "Thanks." I mumbled.

"No, I should be thanking you." The old dwarf shook his head. "That was very brave of you lass, going up against the trolls like that."

"Oh… well, thank you?" I stared at him in shock. One of the dwarves had just… thanked me. Wow.

"Aye lassie." Gloin nodded, coming up as well. "That was very courageous."

"Selfless." Bofur nodded from nearby as he pulled on a boot.

"Alright, alright." Oin waved them away. "Yes, I think she gets the point. Very heroic. Now hustle off so I can take a look at those wounds." Wounds? I looked down and grimaced. I was covered in burns, and my clothes were nothing but ash in several places. At least I was still modest… kind of. Stupid trolls. "Those are some nasty burns there alright. Once we get back to camp, I'll put some salve on it."

"_Oin_tment." Rina snickered.

"I can put it on myself." I said stiffly. Oin looked at me for a moment before nodding and walking back in the direction of camp. Ori followed behind.

_"Will you stop groaning?" Fili snapped at his younger brother. "Miley, tell him to stop. He won't listen to me." I laughed as the three of us followed some others in search of a troll cave._

_"But I hurt all over!" Kili complained._

_"How?" I laughed. "All you did was get stuck in a sack."_

_"I did do a decent bit of fighting as well, you know." The dwarf sulked._

_"Aw, poor wee lad!" Fili mocked, "can't handle a bit of fighting."_

_"Idiots." Kili snorted, stomping ahead. Fili and I broke into cackles behind him. We did not stop till Fili cleared his throat and sobered up a bit. I quickly followed suit._

_"So…" he started._

_"So." I replied, looking at him expectantly._

_"I know this really isn't my place to ask…" the blonde started. "But he is my brother."_

_"Uh oh." I frowned. "This sounds serious."_

_"What exactly are your… intentions?" he looked at me nervously. I stared back blankly for a moment._

_"About what?" I found myself asking._

_"About your relationship, with my brother." Fili explained. …What?_

_"I'm not sure what you mean…" I said hesitantly. "I don't think we're anything more than friends, that's what I intended anyway. Does it… seem otherwise?" Fili sighed and looked at me for a moment before replying._

_"As I thought." The dwarf nodded. "You aren't his One." I frowned._

_"No, I don't think so. He's not really my type. No offense, he's a great person!" I said quickly._

_"No, that's fine!" Fili shook his head. "But, I'm not sure… no, I'm confident that Kili does not see it the same way."_

_"Oh." Was all I could get out. I did feel like he was very open very quickly. But some people are just like that. M… "Oh."_

_"Yeah." Fili sighed. "I don't mean to tell you what to do, but perhaps… you should make it clear to him."_

_"Yes." I nodded "Yes, that's a good idea." Fili nodded and clapped me on the shoulder reassuringly. I gave him a thin smile before he removed his hand and turned once more towards the cave. Dwarves were already coming out of it._

_"Well, there goes our chance to see a real live troll hoard." Fili sighed. I sighed as well. I had been looking forward to that. Maybe get myself an elvish blade in the process. But next should be Rivendell. That will be pleasant. I glanced over to see Gandalf giving Bilbo a blade. Sting. Or sometime in the future, it will be called that. A smile slipped onto my face._

_"Something's coming!" Thorin shouted. I looked up in alarm. What? What was coming?_

_"Stay together! Hurry now. Arm yourselves." Gandalf shouted, rushing towards the source. I hurried over. The company crowded together, bristling with weapons as something came snapping towards us._

_"Thieves! Fire! MURDER!" something burst in front of us. I stared for a moment, then tilted my head to one side. Was that… a rabbit pulled sleigh? I didn't remember anything like that in the book. Riding the sleigh was an odd kind of fellow with an odd-looking beard and… bird dung down the side of his face._

_"Radagast!" Gandalf pushed through the dwarves. "Radagast the Brown!" I stared incredulously at the wizard. Radagast? But Radagast wasn't ever in the hobbit! "What on earth are you doing here?" the gray wizard inquired._

_"I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong…"_

_"Yes?" Gandalf prompted the frazzled looking wizard. Radagast opened his mouth to speak._

_Then closed it._

_Then opened it._

_Then closed it again._

_"Oh, just give me a minute. Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it! It was right there. On the tip of my tongue!" Radagast huh? Rather unimpressive for a Maiar. "Oh! It's not a thought at all! It's a silly old…" Gandalf reached a tentative finger into the other wizard's mouth and pulled out a spindly writhing thing. "Stick insect!" Ewwww. Thankfully, Gandalf lead Radagast off to talk privately. And, although I wanted to know what it was about, I decided to give the old wizards some privacy, since they clearly wanted it. Instead, I went to go talk to Kili. Sooner rather than later is probably best._

_"What is WRONG with you?" uh oh. I quickened my pace towards the sound._

_"What's wrong with me? YOU'RE the one who keeps going spastic for no reason!" I rushed in to see Kili and M mere centimeters away from each other, though clearly both keeping their distance. Both had their arms crossed over their chests and they seemed to be panting and flushed with anger. Though it was hard to tell through M's salve covered burns._

_"I'm not being spastic you jerk!" M shouted. Almost at the top of her lungs. _

_"So what? You're saying I'M the one with the problem?" Kili snapped back, just as loud. "You're the one who talks to ghosts!"_

_"Well soooorry! It's not like I can do anything about it!" M hissed sarcastically. "You know what? I'm done with this!" she turned on her heel, snorting in annoyance._

_"Well I'm not!" Kili shouted back, grabbing her arm to turn her back around. _

_"DON'T. TOUCH. ME." _

_I watched helplessly as M spun around, ripping her arm out of Kili's grasp. She glared at him with a look that was pure hatred. Her just heaved and every muscle in her body was tense. Kili didn't look much better. _

_After a few penetrating moments, Kili took a step back._

_"Fine." He said at last, his voice completely neutral. Then he turned, and walked off. I watched him go before turning back to M. Maybe now wasn't the best time to talk after all. But this fight seemed bad. Really bad. I always new the two didn't like each other, but…_

_"What was that about M?" I asked, walking up to her._

_"Who cares." M snapped back. _

_"I do. I'd be surprised if anyone in the company _didn't_ hear that." She looked at me for a moment. I was surprised to find tears brimming in the corners of her eyes._

_"Just leave it. There's nothing you could do about it anyway." I moved to go after her when a howling sound echoed through the trees._

_"Was that a wolf?" Bilbo asked nervously. "Are there wolves out here?"_

_"Wolves?" Bofur echoed. "No, that was no wolf." My blood ran cold as I spotted the canine silhouette on the incline above us. The dwarves quickly dispatched it as another came bounding in. Kili just managed to shoot it before Dwalin finished it off. _

_"Warg scouts." Thorin spat. "Which means an orc pack is not far behind."_

_"Orc pack?" Bilbo and I said at the same time. What on earth was going on? There were no orc packs between the trolls and Rivendell!_

_"Who did you tell of your quest? Beyond your kin." Gandalf asked Thorin urgently. The dwarf glanced over at M and I. I just shrugged and shook my head._

_"No one." Thorin said after a moment._

_"Who did you tell?" Gandalf barked._

_"No one I swear!" Thorin turned towards me. "What in Durin's name is going on here?"_

_"I don't know!" I replied defensively. "I did not hear of your quest from others, I swear to you." Thorin looked at Gandalf questioningly._

_"You are being hunted." The wizard replied._

_"We have to get out of here." Dwalin growled._

_"We can't!" All heads turned to Ori who had just arrived. "We have no ponies! They bolted."_

_"Perfect." M grumbled from beside me. I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. _

_"I'll draw them off!" Radagast said. I looked at him, having quite forgotten that he was there._

_"These are Gundabad wargs." Gandalf huffed. "They will outrun you!"_

_"These are Rhosgobel Rabbits." Radagast retorted immediately. Everyone looked at him curiously. "I'd like to see them try."_

* * *

><p><strong>Well, That was a more eventful chapter in my opinion. <strong>

**Please share your thoughts! Let me know that there are people reading this.**


	15. Chapter 15: Running YAY!

For once, I was thankful to be running for my life. I was running, my heart pounding, and blood roaring in my ears, my qualms forgotten. Too bad we had to keep stopping. I heard someone's voice, probably Gandalf, telling us to stick together. Screw it. They were too slow. Then Miley flattened me against the rock, the sound of a warg snarling above us. Thorin nodded to Kili about something. I held back a snort. Like an arrow was going stop a warg and rider. The brunette dwarf sprung from the wall as I dashed up the rock past the warg, the dwarven arrow flying past me to hit the orc.

"M!" I heard someone shout as the warg snapped after me. And I was off in the races. I couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh as my legs thundered along the grassy ground. But my laughter died as the sounds of more wargs came snarling after me. Hopefully the others were taking a chance and making a break for it. I just kept running and running, the wind cutting around me as I bounded through the grasses.

Something knocked into my side. I went tumbling down a large hill, a foul breathed canine following closely. I scrambled to my feet as soon as I reached flat ground again and took off through sparse pines. I let out another laugh as a warg went sliding pass me, unable to stop it's momentum. There was something incredibly awesome about risking your life like this.

Probably why I didn't last very long in most books.

Then I barreled into something.

"M?" I looked down to see Fili.

"Hey." I replied. "Funny seeing you here." The warg sailed over our heads and slid over the ground. We both scrambled to our feet.

"Where on earth have you been?" Miley shouted from somewhere around.

"Missed you too!" I grinned back.

_I scowled back at my friend. Why was she so reckless? Either cranky or reckless. Why can't she just follow along with everyone else?_

_"There's more coming!" Kili shouted from the other direction. I looked over at the archer. Wargs weren't to far behind him. Great. Just great._

_"Kili! Shoot them!" Thorin ordered._

_"We're surrounded!" Fili said, pulling one of his twin blades out of a now dead orc before following M towards the rest of the group._

_"Where's Gandalf?" Kili shouted, sounding rather stressed._

_"He's abandoned us!" Dwalin cursed._

_"Hold your ground!" Thorin commanded, sensing the dwarves dropping spirits. Come on wizard? Where are you?_

_"This way you fools!" I turned in joy. Gandalf immerged from the rocks to disappear once more into them. The hidden pass! It must be! I followed the dwarves as they funneled into the opening. _

_"Kili! Run!" Thorin commanded, stopping at the entrance. I stopped, looking over my shoulder to see the archer still picking off orcs. "Kili!"_

_"I'll get him." Someone sighed. I watched in surprise as M dashed past me._

That stupid dwarf was going to go get himself killed and upset Miley. I gritted my teeth. Idiot. I dashed past him, grabbing an arrow from his quiver.

"What are you doing?" Kili shouted behind me, firing another arrow.

"Covering for you!" I snapped back. "Now run!"

"Don't be an idiot!" He barked, firing another arrow.

"You MORON!" I shouted. "I guess you really are a drama queen! Trying to risk your life needlessly." I could hear him curse something in dwarven under his breath before turning and sprinting towards the opening. I turned to follow, but a warg chose that moment to pounce. I was knocked to the ground, air rushing from my lunges. I swiveled around on the ground and stabbed the arrow into the creature's neck. Pressure point. The creature jumped back in pain and I scrambled to my feet.

"M!"

_I shouted in warning, but it was too late. A second warg had snuck up from behind and buried its fangs deep into the girl's shoulder. My eyes widened in horror. Even more so when Kili cried out next to me as well. I turned to see him clutch his shoulder in pain. The same shoulder that M had just gotten bit. Thorin seemed to hear it and go into protection mode. He shoved Kili and I into the incline before following himself. I tumbled down the cliff to be caught by dwarves. I shot up in alarm. M was still up there! I tried to rush back up, but Dwalin held me back._

_"Are you alright?" Fili asked his brother who was still clutching his shoulder. The blonde moved his brother's arm. "It looks fine…" Oin came over as well, reporting that it wasn't injured._

_"M is still up there!" I shouted. "We have to help her!"_

_"We cannot risk any of our lives." Thorin shook his head._

_"Than let _me_ go up!" I looked at him desperately. "Please…" But the sound of elven horns sounded. The elves of Rivendell! They would save her! I began to relax slightly. Kili cried out again, this time clutching his leg._

_"What's wrong with him?" Bofur asked in alarm. Oin just shook his head in confusion. An orc dropped through the opening, coming to lay motionless at our feet. Thorin grabbed an arrow from its chest and examined it._

_"Elves." He spat, tossing the arrow aside._

_"I cannot see where the pathway leads!" Dwalin said from the other side of the cavern. "Do we follow it or no?"_

_"Follow it of course!" Bofur said, helping Kili to his feet. The archer was still gritting his teeth in pain. Fili followed behind closely._

_"I think that would be wise." Gandalf nodded. I looked back once more at the opening. It was silent. Balin clapped me on the shoulder before pushing me after the others. The elves would help her. It would be fine._

_We walked for a long time through the narrow stone pathway. Kili had continued to cry out in pain for a while. Then, all at once, it stopped. And upon inquiry, he said that the pain was dulling every step he took._

_At last, we came out into the open air and my breath left me. _

_"I must be dreaming." I breathed quietly. I was really here. Rivendell. It was even more magnificent than I had thought. Even in Jackson's movie of The Lord of the Rings, it was nothing compared to seeing it with my own two eyes. There was no soundtrack playing in the background, just the cascade of waterfalls. It was even better that way._

_"This was your plan all along," Thorin stomped over to the wizard. "To seek refuge with our enemy."_

_"You have no enemies here Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf snapped back. "The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself!"_

_"You think the elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us."_

_"Obviously." I couldn't help but comment. "But when has that stopped you before?"_

_"Besides," Gandalf agreed. "We have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact," very true. "and respect," even more true. "and no small degree of charm." Also tru- wait… "Which is why you will leave the talking to me." I shot a bemused glance over at the wizard who gave me a good-natured wink. I chuckled slightly before following down the stairs to Rivendell._

_The elven halls were even more beautiful as we drew closer. But Bilbo was the only one who seemed to share my fascination. We crossed over a large bridge, coming to stop in a front porch like area. _

_"Mithrandir." I looked up to see a tall fair man with pointed ears and long straight hair come down a set of stairs toward us. I grinned broadly. Elves._

_"Ah, Lindir!" Gandalf smiled back, greeting the elf. They began talking in elvish. I was able to pick out a few words like 'heard' and 'valley'._

_"I must speak with Lord Elrond." Gandalf said._

_"My lord Elrond is not here." Lindir replied. Not here?_

_"Not here? Where is he?" Gandalf echoed my thoughts. The sound of elvish horns sounded and everyone turned to see a long stream of horses on elves galloping toward us. Ah! The ones who saved us from the orcs most likely._

_"Ifridî bekâr! Close ranks!" Thorin shouted. The dwarves closed around Bilbo and I, but I had no trouble looking over them. I peered closely at each horse as it came past us. But my worry grew more and more as I failed to see a little brown female among them. The last horse trotted around us. No M. My stomach dropped._

_"Gandalf!" An elf said._

_"Lord Elrond!" 'My friend' umm… 'where' _

_Elrond replied. 'hunting' 'orcs' I think. 'South'… 'Hidden Pass.' Elrond then dismounted and hugged Gandalf. "Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders. Something, or someone, has drawn them near."_

_"Ah, that may have been us." The wizard smiled. _

_"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain." The elf lord greeted._

_"I do not believe we have met." Thorin said abrasively. _

_"You have your grandfather's bearing." Lord Elrond explained. "I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain."_

_"Indeed?" Thorin seemed unimpressed. "He made no mention of you." Elrond stared at Thorin for a moment, before speaking in elvish. _

_'Fires' I'm pretty sure. 'bring forth the wine' I had memorized that to say in case I ever went to a wedding. 'feed' 'guests' _

_"What is he saying?" Gloin growled. "Does he offer us insult?"_

_"No master Gloin, he's offering you food." Gandalf smiled. _

_"Ah…" the dwarves huddled tightly. "In that case, lead on!"_

_"Wait!" I spoke up finally. Lord Elrond turned to me, one eyebrow raised. "I'm sorry, but among the orcs you slew. You did not happen to come across a dwarf sized human by any chance?" the elf regarded me for a moment before answering._

_"I am sorry to say, we only found orcs." Lord Elrond frowned, letting out a regretful sigh. "We piled all the bodies and burned them. There were none left alive."_

_No… _

_"There must be some mistake!" But it was not my voice. It was Kili's. Thorin looked at his nephew in surprise._

_"I wish that were so." Lord Elrond frowned. Silence hung over the group. "Please, come eat." He led us into Rivendell. It was even more spectacular inside. But I found myself unable to enjoy it. I knew it should be no big deal. Even if she died, I'd just be seeing her again once the book was over back in our world. It was not as if she was gone forever. But still… I felt like she had been taken. She may be back, but in this story she was d-_

_"This way my lady." An elven maiden interrupted my thoughts, leading me away from the others. I followed without hesitation. She lead me too a bath and supplied me with a fresh change of clothes. A beautiful silk dress. But it didn't seem as though it mattered any more. M was gone…_

_I rejoined the others at the dining table. They seemed more or less normal for dwarves. Being rowdy and complaining needlessly. How could they be so cheery? The only one who seemed to care was Kili, oddly enough. And Fili by association. I was given a seat with Gandalf, Thorin, and Lord Elrond. I tried very hard to put my worries aside and focus on the historic moment in front of me. Lord Elrond examining the swords. _

_"This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver." He looked at Thorin's sword. "A famous blade, forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin." He handed the sword back. "May it serve you well." Then he took Gandalf's sword. "And this, is Glamdring. The Foe Hammer. Sword of the king of Gondolin. These swords were made for the goblin wars of the first age…" my thoughts wandered elsewhere. M couldn't be dead. She just… she couldn't. Could she? I excused myself from the table and walked out. _

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><p><strong>Haha, soooo... yeah. ^-^<strong>

**Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16: When all seemed dark

_I wandered about Rivendell aimlessly for a long time before finding myself back at the front where we had come in. The sun was shining almost horizontal now, casting an orange glow to everything. I looked out at the bridge. Maybe… I could go search for her? I walked to the top of the stairs to find someone already there. _

_Sitting on the top step was Kili. He was staring unblinking out at the bridge. I sat down next to him. For a moment we sat in silence, both looking out over the surroundings. Searching… Probably for the same thing. _

_"I said such horrid things to her." I looked in surprise at Kili. The dwarf seemed weary and tense. "Why did we have to fight?" I opened my mouth to respond, but shut it again, turning away. "Why couldn't we just get along? Mahal… If I could take back those words. If I could just apologize. Just see her once again…" My heart throbbed painfully as I felt tears spring to my eyes. I turned to look out again, my vision blurring. She had to come back. Just come back now. Please…_

_Night fell. My tears had come and fallen and dried. There was no sign of anything._

_"It's too dark to see anything." I croaked at last. "We should go get some sleep."_

_"You go." Kili said, not looking at me. "I'll be along in a bit." Hesitantly, I nodded and walked off to the rest of the company. Most of them were already asleep. I found a corner and closed my eyes. The unpleasant gray haze that I had come to call sleep over took me. My eyes opened again. Morning filtered into the room. I stretched, stood and slipped past the still sleeping dwarves. Maybe just check… one more time. _

_Kili was already there. I thought for a moment he hadn't left at all, but then I noticed that he was now just in trousers, boots, and a dingy blue shirt. His usual coat was nowhere to be seen. He must have left sometime in the night. But from the bags under his eyes, sleep had not been his friend._

_"You should get some breakfast." I told him. _

_"I'm fine." He shook his head, eyes still fixed on the bridge and the path leading to it. _

_"Kili…" I frowned. Seeing someone worry more than me, it knocked me somewhat out of my grief. "You need to eat. We all need to regain our strength before we leave."_

_"I'm not hungry." The dwarf brushed me off._

_"Now we both know that's a lie." I rolled my eyes, letting a small smile slip onto my face. "When are you not hungry?"_

_"Now." He replied. "I'm not hungry now." I frowned again._

_"Alright… but you need to eat sometime." With that, I left. _

_"Where's Kili?" Thorin asked when I walked into breakfast._

_"At the front stairs." I replied, sitting down at the table. "He says he's not hungry."_

_"Fili, go get your brother." The dwarven king sighed. Fili nodded and left quickly. I wasn't much in the mood for breakfast either, but I forced myself to have a buttered roll. Fili returned after a while. Without Kili._

_Why was he acting like this? He hated M. _

_"Lady Miley," Gandalf sat next to me. "Tonight, Lord Elrond will be examining the map, I think it would be wise if you joined us."_

_"As you wish." I nodded. Moon Runes._

_"Excellent." The wizard nodded and stood. We would not be staying long after Thorin learned what he needed. That evening before nightfall, I returned to the top of the stairs. Kili was there, like before. The golden glow once more lit up the valley._

_"… She's gone." I heard myself say. I was giving up… No, I had given up. It was pointless. She was gone. I'd be seeing her again though. Once this was all done. She'd be in the dorm like usual. Playing music way too loud and complaining about how many papers she had to write. I just wished she could have finished the story with me. It would have been nice to share it with someone. _

_Kili stood up suddenly. I looked at him in alarm. His whole body was tense as he stared out into the golden light. I peered as well. There… coming up the path. Someone. It wasn't until they had reached the other edge of the bridge could I see who it was._

_It was M._

_It wasn't easy to tell. She was covered in blood and dirt, her clothes were barely intact and her hair was matted and dried with red and black blood. One leg limped slightly and her wounded arm was hanging at her side. But she was alive. I started down the stairs, an amazing feeling rising in my chest. It was really her. M was back. She wasn't dead! I ran up towards her._

_"M! Thank God you're alright!" But she wasn't looking at me. Her hazed eyes were gazing passed me. And soon Kili brushed past quickly. I stared in shock as both of them collapsed into each other's arms. A look of bliss and relief swept over their faces as they sank to their knees on the bridge. Neither said a word. My throat ran dry. I thought they hated each other?_

My pain and weariness ebbed away as I melted into his arms. Kili. Thank god. Oh, thank god. The one thing that had kept me fighting. Fighting the wargs, the rocks, the pain. I needed to get back to him. I had to see him one last time. To apologize. To take back those words.

But there would be time for that. Now I just let my senses be overwhelmed with him. The smell of woods and earth. The warmth that surrounded me. The feeling… the emotion that seemed to pour off of him. Love.

It filled me so completely. I couldn't even feel the pain anymore. That pain that had almost killed me only hours before. Now, it was nothing. Forgotten like the wind in the grass.

Because he was here. I was here. And it felt right. Our harsh words. Our ill thought actions. All of it was nothing now. Just for now, it was forgotten completely and wholly.

I had made it back. I was safe. I didn't have to fight anymore. Gently, I let the darkness overcome me. And drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

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><p><strong>Soooooo... Yeah, a little cheesy. But it will all be explained! Eventually... :\<strong>

**Please Review! :D They really mean so much to me.**


	17. Chapter 17: The Healing House

_I walked quickly through the halls of Rivendell, practically running in my rush to find Lord Elrond. Kili followed behind me closely, M unconscious in his arms. The daylight had faded as I searched. Gandalf wanted me to join them to read the map… they're probably in Elrond's study. I directed my route straight there, thankfully finding the elf lord, as well as Gandalf, Thorin, Balin, and Bilbo. _

_"Lord Elrond!" I cried, bursting in. All heads turned to me, then to Kili as he entered behind me, then to the body in his arms. "Please, my friend in severely hurt!" Whatever struggle was being had over the map was immediately forgotten._

_"Bring her this way." Lord Elrond instructed Kili, leading us quickly to the healing houses. The one part of Rivendell I hoped I wouldn't have to be seeing. Thorin, Bilbo, and Gandalf walked behind me as I strode quickly after Kili. The dark haired dwarf laid M gently in the cushioned bed as two more elves walked swiftly in. I could only watch as they immediately began to examine my roommate's many wounds. _

_They tried to send the rest of us out, but I refused firmly, as did Kili. I could not help but shoot the archer an odd look. I was sure they hated each other._

_"Several Burns." One of the elves reported._

_"Mauling on the shoulder and leg." The other said. Another elf rushed in and started preparing a series of herbs along with Lord Elrond._

_"Feet are in poor shape too." M… what were you thinking? You may just go home when you die, but that doesn't make you invincible! One elf examined a wound on her side and frowned._

_"… Poisoned." _

_"What?" Kili growled beside me, though I think I'm the only one that heard, or the elves just chose to ignore him._

_"We need to draw out the poison first." Lord Elrond said, bringing over a bowl of steaming herbs in a type of liquid. "Hold her down." He instructed. Two elves grabbed her arms as the third grabbed both legs. All three held down tightly. It seemed unnecessary until Lord Elrond began pressing the herb into the wound. _

_A heart wrenching cry flew from M's lips as her body convulsed violently. I turned my gaze away quickly, unable to watch. Instead, I saw Kili, his face tight and he seemed to be biting his lip to keep from crying out in pain. He was biting hard enough to draw blood at least. _

_"Don't just stand there!" One of the elves snapped at us as the screams grew in intensity. I rushed forward to hold down one of the legs as the elf focused on holding down just one leg. I gritted my teeth in effort, unprepared for how hard M was thrashing around. Kili moved to her head and tried to hold down her shoulders. _

_I grimaced as fresh blood began to spurt as M's frantic movements reopened her wounds. I could barely hear Lord Elrond begin to chant a prayer over the screams. I screwed my eyes shut and set my arms firm. My task was to make sure the leg in front of me moved as little as possible. And that's what I did. I blocked everything out and focused on my job. _

_And slowly, the screams died away. The convulsions stopped. And I was ushered away once more._

The first thing I was aware of was the warmth. Then the numbness. I could barely feel anything but a dull ache throughout my body. The gray haze began to slip away. In the back of my head, I could hear birds chirping from somewhere nearby.

And at last, I felt something. Something rough, yet gentle, stroking rhythmically over my left hand. That was where I felt the most warmth. My left hand. There was another hand holding onto it. A slightly larger hand. It was a finger that belonged to that hand that was stroking me calmly. Somehow, I knew who it was, before I even opened my eyes. I gave the calloused hand the tiniest of squeezes as my eyes slowly pushed themselves open.

I watched drowsily as Kili turned to me in surprise, a smile of relief crossing his face as he breathed out slightly. It could have been mistaken for a laugh. The slightest of smiles crossed my own face.

"Why are we not fighting?" I asked. It even surprised me how weak and drained my voice sounded. The words were barely more than a whisper.

"I don't know." Kili chuckled. His deep voice was so calming. "But let's not ruin it now."

"Good idea." I agreed, feeling my eyelids already growing heavy again. Kili seemed to notice it too.

"Get some more sleep." He suggested as I felt his hand release mine, and stroke the side of my face ever so lightly. "I'll go tell someone you woke. Miley will be glad to hear it."

"Mhmm." I hummed back, already feeling sleep claim me. Just before my eyes shut, I saw Rina above me giving me the thumbs up sign. I would have laughed, but I was already asleep.

.

I felt much better rested when my eyes opened again. Fuzzy. But better.

I was also alone. Which was good actually. Because that meant I didn't have to do anything immediately. And I didn't. I just lay in the cozy, fluffy bed and brought myself up to speed.

The first thing I noticed was the lack of pain. Very good. Pain is not fun.

Then I noticed the room around me. It was beautiful. White light poured in through the windows and the birds chirped. It must have been morning. Or heaven. I always imagined heaven as being daytime. Though I didn't necessarily believe in it.

But I quickly decided I _wasn't_ in heaven as I became aware of thick white bandages wrapped over me. There was a thick mat of them around my one shoulder and wrapped around the opposite leg. There was also a decent bit of bandage around my torso and feet, and a few smaller band aid like patches in other places like the back of a hand or the cheek under my left eye.

After taking notice of all of this, I made not that I had been changed out of my burnt and tattered clothes into a loose white gown that had a very medicinal quality about it.

I was also clean. Actually clean! And my burns and the majority of the scratches and bruises were either gone or covered in bandage. There was not a spot of blood or dirt on me and, upon running a hand through it, I realized my hair was brushed and smooth.

I would have to thank whoever took on the impossible task of doing _that_. But all seemed fine, though I had no idea where I was. Except that the company was here as well. So I let my mind wander. It went immediately to Kili. I frowned as I recounted what had happened between us. At first we hated each other, and now… Not that I was complaining. Even though he was a jerk, I felt bound to him somehow. I had to talk to him about it. It was the only logical thing to do. Either that or run, and I had been doing plenty of that recently.

Moving my stiff limbs, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and pushed myself into a sitting position. My head swam for a moment before I was able to stand and stumble my way out of the room. Now to find that stupid dwarven archer.

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><p><strong>Ah all seems fine and well! So peaceful!... for now :)<strong>

**Please review if you have the time! It really is very encouraging!**


	18. Chapter 18: You're a WHAT!

**Enjoy this lighter chapter... it'll be the last one in awhile :) (I worry sometimes that I might be mentally unstable.)**

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><p>At last, I found Kili sparring with his brother. Miley watched nearby laughing at the two. It was very peaceful. I hobbled over and sat down wearily next to Miley.<p>

"M! You're awake!" She beamed at me. I smiled back at her.

"I don't know, this place seems like a dream to me." She laughed.

"Rivendell. It's the place I wanted to see the most."

"I don't see what's so great about it." Rina huffed. I glanced up at her in confusion. What was she so moody about?

"Hey! Welcome back to the land of the living!" Fili waved as he and Kili walked over, panting and sweating. Oh gosh. I hoped I wasn't blushing too noticeably.

"Thanks." I smiled instead. "This is much preferred to wandering about in the woods for days."

"I bet." Kili grinned, plopping down next to me. He stank like the high heavens.

"Oh, gross! Get a bath, will you?" I pinched my nose in disgust. The jerk laughed in my face.

"Not a bad idea." Fili spoke up from Miley's other side. "I think I'll go look for a fountain." He stood. "You two care to join me?" Miley and I stared at him wide eyed.

"You are seriously sick." I said, unblinking.

"What?" Fili frowned. "It's not like I asked you to bath with _Kili_."

"How is it any better?" Miley shook her head, not believing her ears. Fili stared at us in confusion for a moment before sighing.

"I cannot believe how blind you are." He rolled his eyes and started pulling his shirt off.

"NO! Nononononono this is so wrong!" I screamed looking away quickly. Miley did similar complaints next to me as Kili started laughing. "What did I tell you?" I hissed at my friend. "They're a bunch of dirty minded dwarves!"

"It's alright you know." Kili smirked from next to me. "You can look at her." I shot him a confused glance before accidently peeking at Fili. I looked away quickly, and then did a double take. I soon found myself staring shamelessly at Fili's chest. Fortunately, he… she? Still had a tank top on underneath.

"You've got boobs." Miley looked up in surprise at my statement. She looked at me, then at Fili. Her mouth dropped open.

"You're… a girl?" she squeaked.

"Hurray!" Fili clapped slowly. "You can state the obvious!"

"How the hell did I _not_ notice that?" I asked to no one in particular.

"That's not right!" Miley shook her head, standing quickly. "That's not right at all." She looked around like the sky was falling. "This is so so so wrong YOU," she pointed and Fili. "Are supposed to be HIS," she pointed at Kili. "BROTHER!"

"Sister." Fili corrected with a smile.

"BROTHER!" she shouted again before taking a few steps away and whirling around again. "This is your fault." She looked at me.

"_My_ fault? How is this _my_ fault?"

"I don't know! But it has to be! You were saying that there should be more girl characters! You must have changed it somehow!"

"Characters…" Kili and Fili frowned together.

"Don't blame me!" I snapped back. "I'm just as confused as you are!"

"NO. You're not. Because you don't even _know_ this story! Because you're an idiot who can't even read a stupid book without being some sort of freak."

"Miley. Chill out. Now." I growled. She was acting like _me_ for Pete's sake.

"I just…" Miley looked around in confusion. "I don't know anymore." And she rushed off.

"Was that my fault?" Fili asked in confusion as I let out an annoyed sigh and closed my eyes.

"No. She's just… a stupid geek."

"Geek?"

"Ugh never mind." The three of us stayed motionless in silence for a moment. Then I spoke again. "Hey. What happened on the bridge?" After a few moments of silence, I opened my eyes again and looked at Kili. He was staring at me deeply for a moment before nodding to Fili, who casually vacated in silence. I gulped nervously before turning back to Kili. His silence was scaring me.

"How much do you know about the dwarven belief of a One?" he asked at last.

"Let's see well Fili told me about them before. He… she said something about a One is the one other that they will love for the rest of their lives. And a special bond forms between them. Or something like that…" The sappy romance novel.

"Well…" Kili started, looking at the ground. "I wasn't sure at first, but now I'm positive…" He looked up at me again. "You are my One." I stared at him for a moment, trying desperately to ignore the incredible corniness of it all.

"But…" the word slipped out of my mouth before I had time to close it again. Kili's face became washed with worry.

"But?" he prompted.

"But…" I'm not even from here. This is just a book. How can… oh. It's just a book. I guess that makes sense… kind of. Oh shoot. He's still waiting for me to answer. "But… All I've been since we met is rude and mean and…" What am I even saying? I'm not a mean person!... No, I am. I really, really am. And it was too late. The tears were flowing freely down my face now. Kili's arms wrapped around me gently, stroking my head like a cat or something. He still smelled. But I didn't really care. I just… I wanted to stop crying. To stop acting like a spoiled little kid all the time. But the tears just kept coming and coming and coming. Why did I have to be so mean? Why couldn't I just be nice to people? Had that stupid ghost been right after all? Maybe, it wasn't everyone else's fault. Maybe… maybe all this time, it's been mine.

_There was something wrong going on. Seriously wrong. Fili was a girl. A GIRL. What in middle earth was going on? Gandalf would know. He was a wizard right? He'd be the most likely to have some insight into this. If something wrong was going on. That wizard would be the first to know about it. Right?_

_"Ah, Lady Miley." Perfect timing._

_"Gandalf, I was just looking for you-"_

_"As was I." the wizard smiled. "We are going to give that map reading another attempt. Perhaps you would like to join us?" My first instinct was to say no. That there was something very wrong going on. But causing panic would just make things worse. No. I would have to wait. _

_._

_"Our business is no concern of elves."_

_"For goodness sake, Thorin, show him the map." I stood next to Bilbo as the wizard sighed exasperatedly at the dwarf lord._

_"It is the legacy of my people. It is mine to protect, as are its secrets." Thorin hissed._

_"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves!" Bilbo and I shared a glance. "Your pride will be your downfall." Gandalf told the dwarf. "You stand here in the presence of one of the few in Middle-earth who can read that map. Show it to Lord Elrond!" Thorin considered this for a moment before eventually handing over the map. Much to Balin's displeasure. _

_"Erebor." Elrond unrolled the map. He hardly seemed surprised. "What is your interest in this map?" Gandalf spouted some nonsense about academic reasons and hidden texts before Thorin could ruin their chances._

_"You still read ancient dwarvish, do you not?" Gandalf smiled._

_"Cirth Ithil." Elrond said as he walked a few paces away._

_"Moon Runes. Of course, an easy thing to miss." Gandalf nodded to Bilbo and I._

_"Well in this case, that is true." Elrond nodded. "Moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and seasons the day on which they were written." Thorin looked at the elf anxiously. _

_"Can you read them?" _

_Lord Elrond looked back at the map. "These runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly two hundred years ago." Everyone waited for the Lord to continue. "It seems fate is against you, Thorin Oakenshield. That moon has passed and will not return for quite some time."_

_"What?" I shouted loudly. Everyone turned to me in alarm. "What do you mean it's passed?"_

_"If it had been yesterday…" Lord Elrond began. Right! They planned on reading the map last night! That means… It was all my fault… and M's we had messed it all up! No, no, no…_

_"All is lost then." Balin shook his head._

_"Well, there must be some other way." Bilbo suggested._

_"I'm afraid the only option is to wait." Lord Elrond frowned._

_"I know what it says!" All heads turned to me._

_Oops. _

_Oh well, too late to back out now._

_"The inscription reads: 'Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the key-hole.'" Everyone stared at me. The silence was truly deafening. "Please don't ask me how I know this, I cannot answer, but I swear it's true." I hoped at least, something was wrong with this story; I just hoped the inscription was the same._

_"What is Durin's Day?" Bilbo frowned._

_"The start of the dwarves new year." Gandalf explained cautiously as he continued to gaze at me warily._

_"This is ill news." Thorin turned to Balin. "Summer is passing, Durin's day will soon be upon us."_

_"We still have time." Balin replied as Lord Elrond walked over to me._

_"Time? For what?" Bilbo asked._

_"How did you know the inscription?" The elf lord asked me._

_"I cannot answer that." I replied evenly, though I was starting to tremble slightly._

_"Why can't you?" Lord Elrond pressed._

_"I cannot answer that either." _

_"Why is that?"_

_"I cannot answer any of your questions." I closed my eyes tightly._

_"Then can you answer mine?" Gandalf asked. My eyes flew open again. I had meant to talk to him. I guess better now than never._

_"Fine. Listen, there is something very VERY wrong going on. This world is not how it is supposed to be. Events are not going, as they should. But that is to be expected, seeing as there are two more than there should be. But it's _more_ than that. The premise, the very fabric of the story is changing. Fili is a GIRL. That was _not_ changed be M or myself."_

_"My dear, what on earth are you talking about?" Gandalf puzzled. "What do you mean, events are changing?"_

_"The events! The…" I looked around at those assembled. Probably some of the more level headed people to tell. "This is a STORY. It's a book from the real world, my world. You are all characters in that book and the book is not how it should be!"_

_"A-a book?" Bilbo repeated._

_"Yes! A book." I groaned. "My friend is able to go into books when she reads them. That's how we got here! But something's gone WRONG with the book. What if it's not just this one? What if other books start changing as well?"_

_"What do mean by book?" Gandalf frowned._

_"Are you seriously STILL stuck on that?" I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Okay, I'll make this as simple as I can. See that shelf over there?" I pointed at one of the bookcases. "It has books on it. And in those books are stories. In my world, this place and the events involving Thorin Oakenshield are a story. They are in a book called The Hobbit. All right? I have read that book called The Hobbit several times, and I know that Fili is a boy." _

_"She's not a boy lass." Balin frowned._

_"Exactly!" I pointed at the white bearded dwarf. "But he… she should be! Something has gone wrong and it's probably going to get worse." Elrond and Gandalf exchanged glances._

_Lord Elrond spoke calmly. "Where exactly is your friend now?"_

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><p><strong>Please let me hear your thoughts! Any ideas what might happen next? It's going to get wild!<strong>


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